


Where the River Runs

by ScorpioInk



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Crushes, Drug Withdrawal, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Face-Sitting, Friends to Lovers, Getting to Know Each Other, Oral Sex, Past Drug Addiction, Past Drug Use, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Vik being adorable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:27:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 34,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29253675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScorpioInk/pseuds/ScorpioInk
Summary: River, sweet innocent River.V could admit she had a crush, and maybe Johnny was right and it wouldn't work out, but that didn't mean it wasn't worth trying.They were on opposite sides of the spectrum, but maybe they could bring some colour to each others lives.
Relationships: Female V/River Ward, V/River Ward
Comments: 105
Kudos: 127





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As always, dear readers, my introduction chapters suck. I apologize.

“See this, this is a nice car,” Johnny relaxed back against the seat of V’s new car, “it’s not as nice as _my_ car, but it’ll do.”

“Your car is in a dump somewhere, Silverhand. It’s probably been smashed into a cube.”

“God, you’re such a bitch,” Johnny laughed, looking out his window, “no wonder you never get laid.”

“Tell me about it, shit. We should head back to Clouds.”

“Nah, you’re too good for Clouds. You need to find a real partner. Someone you can work with.”

“Like…River?”

“No.”

“He’s cute.”

“No.”

“Johnny, baby, are you jealous?”

“ _No_. Fuck V. You saved his nephew, and you haven’t heard from him since. What sort of dude do you think he is? Even I used to call my groupie outputs now and then.”

“A guy who’s dealing with a family emergency?” V paused as the NCPD scanner picked up, listening to the broadcast and setting her GPS.

“He could take the time to _call_ , V.”

“Are you sad the big sexy cop didn’t call you back?” V turned the car onto the highway and put her foot to the floor, laughing as Johnny groaned at the feeling of the engine pushing her back against the seat.

“Nah, not sad. Just seems a bit shady, is all.”

V jumped as her phone rang, “huh, speak of the devil.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“Nope,” V answered the call with a press of a button.

“Hey, V. You been feelin’ all right. I hope?”

“Course. Why what’s up?”

“Just callin’ to invite you to Joss’s for dinner. I’d love it if you swung by. Whaddaya say?”

V considered it for a minute. She had been asked out to worse places, by worse men.

“He’s a _cop_ , V. You’re a street kid. It’ll never work.”

“Be great to see all you guys,” V turned to face Johnny in the passenger seat of the car, sticking out her tongue.

“Prime! Heh…Joss’ll be thrilled.”

“Joss’ll be?” V laughed, “sounds great.”

“I’ve missed you, y’know…”

V rolled her eyes at the sound of Johnny gagging next to her, “shut up, he’s _nice_.”

“He’s a _cop_.”

“He’s an ex-cop.”

“Gross, V.”

“Actually missed you too, River,” V turned her attention back to the conversation at hand.

“I’ll see you at Joss’s?”

“I’ll see you at Joss’s,” V confirmed, relieved when Johnny flipped her off and disappeared.

“Perfect. Till then…then.”

“That was fucking awkward and you can’t tell me otherwise.”

“Shut up, Johnny,” V pulled her car over, pulling the shotgun from her trunk, “let me have this.”

“Buy a sex toy,” Johnny leaned against the hood of the car as V loaded the gun, “they have better pick up lines.”

***

V had dressed casually, pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before she headed out to River’s place, electing to leave the sportscar at home, and take Scorpion’s bike instead.

“Screams stability, V,” Johnny spoke from behind her on the bike, “taking a motorcycle to a date when you have a perfectly good car.”

V smiled at the kids as they raced up to her bike, “V! Hey, V!”

“Hey, guys,” V let them take her hand and drag her over to River.

“Hey, glad you’re here, I could use the help cooking.”

V smiled, River was just as attractive as she had remembered and without the oversized jacket on, she could finally appreciate his frame.

“You don’t want me cooking, River. Likely to kill you with food poisoning.”

“I just need you to stir,” River passed her the spoon and turned back to the chopping board, “so stir.”

“I’m stirring, shit,” V watched the expanse of his shoulders as he busied himself with cutting something, “How’s Randy holdin’ up?”

“Complicated. It’s going to be a while before he’s going to be healthy, but he’s improving. Mind grabbing the rice from the kitchen?”

“Yes, sir,” V saluted and turned toward the trailer.

“Already bossin’ you around,” Johnny followed her, “makin’ you cook. You’re not cut out for this domesticated life, V.”

“Johnny, I don’t even know if this is a date,” V opened the door and slipped inside, “would you calm your jets?”

“V-“

“Don’t make me take the omega blockers, okay? Looks like the food is going to be good and I don’t want you to miss out on it. If you’re going to complain, complain quietly.”

***

“You’re playin’ video games with _kids_ , V, shit. At least fuckin’ beat them.”

“Not the point, Johnny. Chill.”

“Fuck this shit is _so boring_.”

“Lunch is ready,” Joss stepped between the holographs.

“At least we beat the grown-ups!”

“Fuckin’ gross, V. It’s like a bad movie.”

V followed River to the table, sitting awkwardly in between the kids.

“V, what’s on your hand?”

“Oh,” V turned her hand over so Monique could look at the cybernetics in her palm, “cybernetics.”

“What do they do?”

“I have a few,” V flexed her hand as Monique’s tiny finger explored the grip, “this one tells me how many bullets I have in my gun.”

“Why do you need a gun?”

 _Shit_.

“V fights bad guys, like I did. She helped find Randy.”

“Right, V’s a hero.”

“Oh, that might be taking it a bit far,” V pointed to the lines in her arms, “these are like big swords I can pull out; I can see scan people with my optics, see if they’re a bad guy or not.”

“Wow! What else?”

“I can jump _really_ high.”

“Wow!”

River laughed, “you’re more robot than I am.”

“That’s saying something with that big mitt you call a cybernetic,” V pointed her spoon to River’s hand.

“I don’t want to try it,” Dorian crossed his arms over his chest, “it looks gross.”

Joss opened her mouth to protest, River following suit.

“Gross?” V poked at the bowl with her spoon, “what’s gross?”

“This stuff,” Dorian lifted a piece of sausage for V to see.

“Ah,” V nodded sagely, “but you know what that does, right?”

Dorian paused, looking at his spoon cautiously, “what?”

“Helps with aiming,” V took a bite of her food, watching Dorian out of the corner of her eye, “everyone knows that protein is preem for aiming.”

“Okay,” Dorian dropped the sausage back in the bowl, “what about this?”

V glanced over, “tomatoes? Makes it easier to see in the dark.”

“No way,” Dorian presented a pepper next, “what about this?”

“Peppers? They just taste good,” V pointed in her bowl, “celery keeps you hydrated, important in the Badlands, rice keeps you full, in case you have a long mission when you can’t eat. This right here? Hero food. You want to grow up to be big and strong like River? You need to eat hero food.”

Dorian took a tentative bite, “how much do I gotta eat?”

“All of it,” V leaned forward, stage whispering to Dorian so the table could hear, “you beat me at the video games, bet I could beat you at dinner.”

“No way,” Dorian protested, “I’m faster.”

“Monique,” V turned to the young girl, “you wanna get in on this?”

“Yeah!”

“Alright, Uncle River, you better get in on this too, don’t want you losing your touch.”

River chuckled, “okay.”

“Ready,” V held up her spoon, “go.”

***

“I wish I could have you around every night,” Joss cleared the bowls, “you helped save my son, my brother is crazy about you, you can get my kids to eat. You’re a real lifesaver.”

“Don’t know about that, but I’m happy to help when I’m around. I don’t get out of NC much.”

“Come on,” River took her hand and pulled her from the table, “I want to show you something.”

“Ten eddys says it’s his cock,” Johnny walked beside her, “V, come on, let’s delta.”

“Where are we going?” V shot Johnny a pointed look.

“Somewhere with a good view.”

***

“Just don’t fall in love with me.”

“Too late, V,” River leaned in, and as their lips met V heard Johnny behind her.

“Red fuckin’ flag, V. You’ve barely spent any time together.”

For once, she agreed with him.

“River,” V pulled back gently, “you don’t mean that, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“We barely know each other. You can’t be in love with me.”

“You don’t believe in love at first sight?”

“No,” V studied his face, “do you?”

“I don’t know,” River kept his voice low, “maybe? I can’t get you off my mind.”

“A crush,” V suggested, “or lust. You don’t know me well enough to love me.”

“I thought you were interested,” River withdrew, noticeably pulling away from her.

“I am interested,” V reached for him, taking his organic hand in hers, “in taking it slow, steady. River, I’ve got so much shit going on in my life right now, I can’t dive headfirst into a happily ever after.”

“But you want to try?”

“Yeah,” V kissed him again, a reassurance, “I want to try.”

“Gross,” Johnny complained, “take the blockers if you’re taking off any clothes. I don’t want to see the pig naked.”

River squeezed her fingers, shifting to sit closer, “it is a great view.”

“Yeah,” V agreed, looking out over the horizon, “it really is.”

***

“As nice as this is,” V shivered, “it’s cold.”

“And late,” River added, “want to head down?”

“Sure,” V stood, heading toward the ladder, “what time is it?”

“Midnight.”

“Ah, shit.”

“What?”

“That bike is pretty loud, and it’s heavy to push. I don’t want to wake up Dorian and Monique.”

“You could stay?”

“River…”

“To sleep,” River held his hands up in defense, “unless you want…something else.”

“You are without a doubt the most awkward man I’ve ever met.”

“You must like something about me, you stayed.”

“It’s the calves.”

River laughed, “come on. My bedroom is on the other side of the house.”

“V…”

“Give me a second to find a bathroom, Johnny,” V shot back, “I’ll take the pills.”

They crept through the house, V pointing to the bathroom before slipping inside.

“You like this guy? I’ve seen more IQ points in toilet paper.”

“What’s your beef, Johnny?”

“You can do better, is all. You’re worth more than a cop.”

“ _Ex-cop_ ,” V pulled out one of the blue pills, “Johnny, please. Let me have something nice, okay?”

Johnny studied her face, sighing after a minute had passed, “see you in the morning, V.”

“Goodnight, Johnny.”

V took the pill with a quick sip of water, hanging back for a minute to make sure she wasn’t about to throw up. Once she was sure it had settled, she crept to River’s room.

“I was starting to wonder if you had jumped out the window.”

“No, sorry. I have some health…issues…I needed to take my meds.”

“You okay?”

“That’s a long story, I’ll tell you someday.”

“Want to borrow a shirt or something to sleep in?”

“Nah, I’m good,” V pulled off her jacket, tossing it on his chair, “well, officer, let’s see those calves.”

River laughed, reaching for his belt, “I’m telling you, they’re good calves.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

V turned, letting him have some privacy as he undressed, deciding to strip down to her shirt and panties.

She took a moment to say a silent prayer that she had worn cute underwear.

“Nice ink.”

“Thanks,” V glanced down, “my chest is done, too.”

“Never brave enough, myself.”

“No?”

“Turn around, take a look.”

V turned, finding that River had moved closer standing just outside her reach wearing nothing but his boxers.

“Hmm,” V let her gaze slowly move from his face to his impressive shoulders, across his chest to his stomach, over his legs before looking back to his face, “she was right, nice calves.”

River laughed, “yeah? Glad you approve.”

“Come on,” V took his hand, leading him to the bed, “it’s late.”

River pulled back the sheets, “lady’s choice.”

“God, I don’t care,” V dropped onto the side of the bed that was closest to her, “just nice to have a bed.”

“You ever…not had a bed?”

“Yeah, sure, I grew up as a street kid.”

“Tell me about it.”

“What, seriously?”

“You were the one that said that we needed to get to know one another,” River dropped down beside her, “so spill.”

***

“Damn,” River let out a low whistle, “that’s…something.”

“Yeah, I guess, but you get used to it.”

“You never went to a shelter or anything?”

“They’re more dangerous than the streets, usually,” V shifted, moving closer to River.

“What about the NCPD?”

“What about them?”

“They wouldn’t help me,” V rolled, so she could rest halfway across his chest, “they did arrest me a few times.”

“Yeah?”

“Actually,” V tapped his chin, “I think _you_ arrested me before.”

“No…definitely not, I would remember that.”

“About five years ago. I was high in Blue Glass, my hair was pink…”

“Not ringing a bell.”

“I offered to suck your dick if you let me go.”

River’s mouth fell open, “that was you?”

“That was me,” V chuckled.

“Shit,” River blushed, “I’m…sorry?”

“Why? It was your job. It couldn’t have been the weirdest thing you saw.”

“No, not by a long shot.”

“Tell me a story.”

“Anything specific?”

“Something that shocked you.”

***

“You are so beautiful.”

V rolled her eyes, “if you say so.”

“It’s late, we should go to sleep,” River traced her bottom lip with his thumb, “any chance I could get a kiss goodnight?”

“Hmm…I don’t know…”

“Please?” River rolled her onto her back, hovering over her but waiting for permission.

V grabbed his necklace and tugged him closer, “pretty please?”

“Pretty please,” River kissed her gently, like she was something precious, and V moaned softly, “that was a beautiful sound.”

V smiled, kissing him again, “goodnight, River.”

“Goodnight, V.”

***

“V!”

“Hey, guys,” V smiled as Dorian and Monique ran up to her the next morning.

“You don’t even feel like you got off,” Johnny popped up to her right, “what the fuck.”

“We didn’t have sex,” V shot back, letting the kids drag her to the table.

“Then what was the point?”

“Is it so hard to believe that I like to spend time with him?”

“Yes.”

“Shut up, Johnny.”

“V,” Joss greeted with some surprise, “I didn’t know you had stayed over.”

“I hope that’s okay? River’s still sleeping.”

“It’s fine, you’re welcome any time.”

“Anything I can do to help with breakfast?”

“You’re sweet for offering, but we’ve got cereal down to an art.”

“I want to serve V!” Dorian shouted.

“No, me!”

“I’ll make you a deal,” V accepted the coffee from Joss gratefully, “one of you grab the cereal, one grabs the milk.”

“You’re good with kids,” Joss commented mildly as V helped the kids, “have any of your own?”

“No, but I was the oldest of four. My parents weren’t around much, so I took care of the others.”

“Sort of like Randy, I guess.”

“I had a lot in common with Randy growing up.”

“He should be coming home soon, I need to go through his room, first. Make sure there isn’t anything…bad left.”

“Want me to help?” V offered, smiling as River joined them, “I know what to look for, and the usual hiding places.”

“I’ve already been through it, Joss. It’s fine.”

“You’ve only had a cop look?” V snorted, “I should definitely double-check.”

“Couldn’t hurt, I guess.”

“I promise I won't mess with his stuff, you can come with me if you want.”

“Can we help?”

“I need you guys to help me with the generator today, remember?”

“That sounds like _way more fun_ than cleaning Randy’s room, right?”

“Yeah,” Dorian agreed after a minute had passed, “can we go for a ride on your motorcycle before you leave though?”

“Sure.”

***

V started in the living room, slowly making her way through the trailer with a bag in one hand, putting the various pills and packets she found into the bag as she went along. By the time she was in the bathroom, she had already found an impressive collection.

“I’m tellin’ you, Joss. I got it all.”

“It doesn’t mean she can’t look, River. She sees things from another view than you do.”

“Hey,” V pointed to the bag on Randy’s desk, “you missed some.”

“What…” River sifted through the bag, “where?”

“Behind the toilet, in the freezer,” V tapped the tiles on the floor, “in his jacket pockets, behind the mirror in the bathroom, and…”

V lifted one of the tiles, pulling out a small box, “under the floor.”

“Shit,” River sat on Randy’s bed, “you think that’s it?”

“No,” V put the tile back, “haven’t checked the bed, yet. That’s where I stashed my stuff.”

“Where?”

“Unscrew the cap of his headboard,” V pointed, “bet you’ll find something.”

River did, swearing as he pulled out a small bag.

“How did he afford all this?”

“Don’t ask yourself that question, or him, for that matter,” V pulled out the drawers of Randy’s desk, “it doesn’t matter. If he’s planning on staying sober you don’t need to shame him for what he did to get high.”

“Can he even stay sober if he has this much?”

“I managed.”

“What did you…”

“Use?” V stood, wiping her hands on her pants, “everything. Only thing I haven’t tried is Glitter.”

“How long have you been clean?”

“Almost…three years?” V pointed to the top of Randy’s doorframe, “River, can you reach that?”

“What?”

“There’s a foil packet up there, I can’t reach.”

River followed her finger and found the packet, handing it to her.

“What is that?”

“I would have to get a testing kit,” River passed the packet to V.

V opened the foil, moving the powder into the light, “black lace.”

“How do you know that?”

“I was a pro, River even arrested me once,” V closed it back up, putting it in the bag.

“Really?”

“Really,” V tied up the bag, passing it to River, “you got somewhere to get rid of this?”

“Yeah, I can take it tonight.”

“No, not tonight,” V shook her head, “you’ve got two young kids in the house. Half of that shit looks like candy. Now.”

“Joss has to go to work, who will watch the kids?”

“I will,” V offered, “if you trust me, after finding out I used to be a drug addict.”

“You’ve been sober for a long time,” Joss reassured, “you saved Randy. I trust you.”

“Great, off you go, River. I promised some kids a motorcycle ride.”

***

“You’re wasting time.”

“I’m having fun, shut up, Johnny.”

“Have to admit, I was surprised you were a pro with the drugs this morning.”

“Yeah, Jackie helped me stay sober,” V concentrated on the picture she was drawing with Dorian, “it was rough.”

“We’re more alike than I thought.”

“Scary thought, Silverhand.”

“I’m back,” River practically ran through the door, “sorry, there’s a procedure for that sort of stuff.”

“V’s teaching us how to draw!” Dorian held up his piece of paper.

“Wow,” River took the page, “that’s a really good….”

“Horse!” Dorian provided, “Monique is drawing a cat.”

“It’s not a _cat_ ,” Monique turned her paper to River, “it’s a _tiger_.”

“Very good,” River joined them at the table.

“I need to get going,” V set down her pencil, “I have some jobs lined up, I need to check in with some of my Fixers.”

“Sorry I didn’t get to spend more time with you,” River smiled as Dorian and Monique threw themselves at V, “looks like you have some fans.”

“I’ll see you guys again soon, I promise,” V hugged the kids, “did you want to turn my bike on for me?”

“Yeah!”

River walked her to the bike, the kids holding on to her hands as they went.

“Dinner later this week?”

“Sure,” V smiled, “but you’re coming to the city, I’ll introduce you to some people who can help with your new gig.”

“I would appreciate it.”

V kicked her leg over the bike, “alright, Dorian. Hit the switch.”

The bike roared to life, Dorian and Monique clapping, “do a wheelie!”

“Drive safe,” River kissed her cheek, “I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye, River.”

V gave a wave, and couldn’t bring herself to feel bad as she peeled out of the trailer park, popping a wheelie on her way.


	2. Chapter 2

“I hate to say I told you so…”

“So don’t,” V shot back at Johnny, “and save us both the trouble.”

“V, come on, you didn’t really think that it would work out, did you?”

The sad thing was, she had. River hadn’t seemed to judge her at the time, but it had been two days since she had been to Joss’s house, and radio silence from River.

V could admit she was disappointed, and more than a little confused. She still wasn’t entirely sure how they had gone from love confessions to ghosting.

“Guys like that, they don’t change, V,” Johnny lit a cigarette beside her, and she pulled out one of her own, “he was told in cop school that people like you are _bad_ , and he doesn’t have enough brain cells to form his own opinion. I tried to warn you.”

“I liked him,” V took a deep drag off of the cigarette, “he seemed nice, genuine. Where do you find that in NC?”

“Not in the NCPD, that’s for sure.”

V sighed, glancing at Johnny. He could be an argumentative piece of shit, but he seemed to have her back on this.

“Though, as much as this pains me to say, and trust me, it does,” Johnny looked at her over her sunglasses, “you didn’t call him, either.”

“What am I supposed to say? Hey, River, I know I told you all about my messy past, we still on for dinner?”

“Why not?”

 _Because_ , V’s mind supplied, _why would he still be interested_.

“See, kid, you gotta stop doing that. Remember, you don’t have to mentally speak with me just for me to hear you. We share a brain.”

 _Fuck_.

“Yeah, I know,” Johnny flicked his cigarette away and it disappeared in a shower of pixels, “if it’s buggin’ you so much, why don’t you call him? Get you the answers you want, anyway.”

“I thought you didn’t even like him,” V tossed her smoke away and hopped off the hood of her car.

“I _don’t_ , but I like how he’s got you feelin’ even less.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Wish I still had my body, I would have taken you out, gotten you a joy toy. By the end of a night out with Johnny Silverhand, you wouldn’t have even remembered his name.”

“If we get you into a body, I’m going to take you up on that.”

“Shit, V, just fuckin’ call him, would you?”

“Why the urgency?”

“You were just _nice_ to me. You haven’t said one bitchy thing to me all day. You’re starting to freak me out.”

“I hate your sunglasses,” V turned on the car, “they look stupid on you.”

“You don’t mean that.”

V pulled into traffic, heading out toward Heywood.

“Hey, they’re classic, what’s wrong with aviators?”

“Nothin’, just saying that they would look good crushed up into a cube, like your car.”

“Fuck you, V.”

***

V had considered it for most of the day, glancing at her phone now and then but never actually dialing out. She wasn’t sure what was worse, him ghosting her, or him rejecting her directly.

“Stop being such a fuckin’ pussy, V.”

“We can’t all be an impressive cock, Johnny.”

V’s phone chimed and they both jumped, looking at the small device where it sat on her coffee table.

V tentatively picked up the phone, “it’s a message.”

“From?”

“Joss.”

_Hey, V, I just wanted to say how nice it was to see you. The kids haven’t stopped talking about a rematch, and River hasn’t stopped talking about you, either. Hope we’ll see you again soon. – Joss_

“Hmm…”

“Now’s your chance,” Johnny leaned over her shoulder to read it, “tell her he ghosted you.”

“Why?”

“No worse fury than a woman scorned.”

V considered the idea for a minute before she started to type.

_Really? Weird, I haven’t heard from River since I left. Tell Dorian and Monique I say hi, maybe I’ll bring out my other bike, they can take it for a test drive -V_

“Atta girl.”

“That felt catty,” V admitted, looking at Johnny sheepishly, “but good.”

“He can’t see what your worth, I say be as catty as you want, choom.”

V checked her phone as it chimed again.

_What, seriously? That gonk. I’ll talk to him – Joss_

“Ten eddys says you have a call by the end of the night.”

“I’ll take that bet.”

***

V had been getting ready for bed then the call came in, and she could admit she was angry enough that she was seriously considering ignoring it.

“Pick it up,” Johnny appeared on the bed, one arm behind his head, “but hold him accountable.”

“V.”

“V, hey,” River’s voice was a schooled casual.

“River,” V kept her voice level, “the ghost of Night City.”

“Yeah, sorry, I deserved that.”

“You deserve more than that,” V sat on the bed next to Johnny, “helped you with the mayor, you ghost me for the better part of a week. Helped you with Randy, you drop off the face of the earth. Come over to your place for dinner, and oh, what do you know, you fuck off, _again_. Gotta say, River, stings a bit.”

“I didn’t mean-“ River sighed, “I needed some time to think.”

“He had painted a picture of you in his mind, one that you messed up when you told him about your past. He’s a cop. He’s been taught his entire life that people like you are a problem to be dealt with,” Johnny lit a cigarette, “I bet both of his brain calls had to work out overtime to figure out that he still liked you.”

V fought the urge to snap, at Johnny or River she wasn’t sure. She was upset that River hadn’t called and pissed that she knew Johnny was right.

“Good talk, River. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Wait, V.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry.”

“River, you told me that you were in love with me. _In love_. The second I’m not perfect you ghost me? No thanks.”

“I fucked up, I get it. I should have called.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t.”

“No,” River sighed again, “I didn’t.”

“What do you want, River?”

“To apologize and ask if you still wanted to do dinner with me. I’ll understand if the answer is no.”

“Can’t believe I’m sayin’ this, but go,” Johnny sat next to her, “dress to the nines, show him how wrong he is, then never call him back.”

“Is it worth going through that just to prove him wrong?”

Johnny leveled her with a look.

“Fine,” V answered River, “you ghost me again, you can lose this number.”

“I won’t.”

“You’ll forgive me if I don’t believe you.”

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

***

“Come on, V, something that shows off your tits.”

“This one?” V held up a shirt.”

“You got anything that buttons up? Black button up, push up bra, tight jeans, and boots…I’d fuck you.”

“I might, actually,” V reached into the back of her closet, “ah-ha!”

“Perfect,” Johnny gave his stamp of approval, “hair in a ponytail or down, do some sort of edgy makeup. Something that looks like you might have been out somewhere else and decided you were going to grace him with your time. You don’t want to look like you were stewing in your place for the past three days. Wear perfume, too, something that will stick to his clothes if you hug him.”

“Where were you when I was in my early twenties?” V brought the outfit into the bathroom, “Johnny Silverhand, fashion stylist.”

“Just helpin’ out.”

“You don’t even like him, why are you helping now?”

“Because I think he’s a piece of shit. I want to see his face when you reject him.”

“You don’t want me to take the omega blockers?”

“Not unless his pants come off.”

V laughed, “thanks, Johnny.”

“No problem.”

***

“Lookin’ hot, V.”

V studied her face in the mirror, tilting her chin up to better compare the wings of her eyeliner, “lipstick?”

“Sure, something red.”

“A classic,” V checked under her sink and found a tube of deep red, carefully applying it, “there, anything else?”

“Some heat, but otherwise, perfect.”

V brushed some of the rogue hair from her face, double-checking her ponytail in the mirror, “alright, what car should I take?”

“Whatever was most expensive, show him that street kids can be successful, too.”

“You just want an excuse to take out the Caliburn.”

“It doesn’t hurt.”

V left her apartment feeling more confident than she had in years, waving at Wilson as he let out a low whistle when she walked by. It had been ages since she wore a thigh holster, but they always did wonders to improve her confidence.

“You’re hot shit, V. Don’t like some shitty cop make you feel otherwise.”

V leaned against the wall of the elevator, studying Johnny, “does this mean we’re best friends now?”

“No, you’re a bitch.”

“Might be a bitch,” V smiled, “but I’m a sexy bitch.”

The Caliburn was waiting for her just outside the door when she got to the steps. It had been the find of a century when she had spotted it in that storage container, and judging by the dust on it, its owner wasn’t going to notice that it was missing. The look on her mechanic’s face had been worth it when she had brought it in for the auto-return package.

It drove like a dream, too, the engine roaring to life as she turned toward Lizzie’s bar.

“This is a sexy car.”

“It absolutely is,” V agreed, “I prefer bikes, but if I’m stuck driving, I’m happy to be driving this.”

“Still think you should get a Porsche.”

“Maybe, one day,” V lit a cigarette, “I sort of feel like showin’ up, lookin’ hot, and leaving.”

“Do it. Just make sure he knows what he’s missin’ out on.”

***

V pulled into the parking lot next to River’s truck, noticing he was still talking outside with the bouncers. 

“Showtime, break a leg, V. Call me if you need me.”

“Thanks, Johnny,” V slipped out of the car, walking across the parking lot.

“Hey, V,” one of the Moxes called to her, “long time no see. Here to see Judy?”

“Here to see him, actually.”

The look on River’s face suddenly made every fight with Johnny worth it. His mouth dropped open, and his organic eye widened in shock.

“He can’t come in, V. We don’t serve NCPD.”

“He’s ex-NCPD. I’ll vouch for him, this time at least.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, he’s fine.”

“Alright. Keep your hands to yourself,” the pink-haired bouncer pointed at River with her baseball bat.

“I’ll be good.”

“Come on, River,” V pushed open the door, “let’s go.”

“You look beautiful,” River walked beside her through the front entrance, “it’s nice to see you.”

“It’s nice to see you, too,” V fought a frown at the butterflies that popped up in her stomach at the sight of him, “we’ll get a drink, then head out for dinner?”

“Sure,” River looked around the bar, “I’ve never been here before.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” V smiled at the dancers that waved at her as she made her way to the bar, “cops aren’t allowed.”

“So I was told.”

V leaned against the bar, nodding at Mateo, “whole world opened up to you when you left the force. A side of NC you’ve never seen before.”

“It’s been a hell of a change, that’s for sure.”

“V,” Mateo greeted her with a smile and a pat on her shoulder, “it’s good to see you again.”

“How have you been keeping?”

“Not bad, all things being considered. Your new input?”

“A friend,” V corrected, “River, this is Mateo.”

“Nice to meet you,” Mateo looked at River suspiciously, “what can I get you?”

“My usual,” V glanced around the bar, “mind if we take that booth?”

“No, it’s open. What are you having, _officer_?”

“Uh,” River seemed disarmed for a minute, “a beer?”

“Sure.” Mateo sat the drinks on the bar, “you call me if you need me, V.”

“You know it. Come on,” V nodded for River to follow her.

“How do they all know?”

“That you’re a cop?” V laughed as she sat in the booth, “because you walk like a cop, you act like a cop. What’s the saying, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it’s not a goose? You would have sucked at undercover.”

“It doesn’t seem to bother you.”

“It didn’t,” V agreed, “I thought you were different.”

“Until?”

“Until you disappeared when you found out I used to use drugs.”

“Ah,” River studied his cybernetic hand, “I’ve never been around someone like that before. I knew you were a merc, and I knew you played loose with the law, but that was a bit of a shock.”

“A shock?” V arched her eyebrow, “River, you _lived_ with a drug addict. That collection Randy had? That’s not casual use.”

“I know,” River spoke so softly V almost missed the words in the volume of the music, “I like you, V. I had to take some time to think about things, but I can’t get you off my mind.”

“Funny way of showing it.”

“Let me prove it to you,” River shifted, brushing her arm with his, “give me tonight. If you don’t ever want to see me again I won’t bug you. Please, V. I’m crazy about you.”

V took a drink to try and avoid smiling, “fine. Last shot.”

“You won’t regret it. I promise.”

“We’ll see, _detective_.”

***

“Did you want to take my truck?” River asked as they walked back to the parking lot, “I can drive?”

“We can take mine,” V waved at her car next to his truck, “Tyger Sharks know that’s your truck, mine is safer.”

“This is yours?” River did a slow circle around the car, “I thought you had a bike?”

“I’ve got a few bikes, a few cars. This is the best in the collection.”

“God,” River let out a low whistle as he got into the passenger seat, “Randy would lose his mind if he saw this car.”

“Yeah?”

“He loves cars, any sort of car, but he’s had posters of Caliburn's up on his wall for years.”

“When he’s better he can take it for a ride,” V pulled out into traffic, “where did you want to eat?”

“Wherever you want, just keep in mind I’m between jobs at the moment,” River shifted in his seat, “so…”

“I get it, no problem,” V considered her options.

“Coyote will feel like home, Embers will get him talking, Tom’s diner is boring,” Johnny spoke from the backseat, “I vote Coyote.”

 _Well_ , V caught a glimpse of River looking at her in the reflection of the window, _you haven’t steered me wrong, yet_.

“Never will,” Johnny pat her shoulder before fading into pixels.

“Dorian and Monique have been talking about you.”

“Course they have, I’m interesting and new. Kids like that sort of stuff.”

“They wanted to know if you would come back around again, I promised I would ask them,” River cleared his throat, “I told them I hadn’t been the nicest, and that I would ask if you forgave me.”

“What did they say about that?”

“I had a twenty-minute dressing down from a six-year-old and an eight-year-old. It was worse when Joss chimed in.”

“So are you here because you want to see me, or because your family gave you shit?”

“I’m here because I can’t stop thinking about you,” River tentatively placed his hand over hers on the shifter, “and because I haven’t been excited about someone like you in a long time. I’ve uh… thought about what it was like to kiss you on the water tower a hundred times in my head. I’ve been hoping I could do it again.”

“Depends on how dinner goes, but yeah, maybe.”

***

“I haven’t been interrogated like that since I finished foundations,” River chuckled as Mama Welles walked toward the kitchen.

“She’s the best,” V laughed, “but that was harsh, yeah.”

“She’s your…aunt?”

“My best friend’s mom. I couch-surfed with her when I was in my early sober years. She kept me straight.”

“If she worked for the force she could straighten out Night City.”

“You’re not wrong.”

River smiled at her, offering her his hand on the table, “I’m glad you met me tonight.”

“Me too,” V took his hand, tangling their fingers together.

“We got news, I meant to tell you, Randy gets to come home this weekend.”

“That’s great. How’s he doing?”

“Still struggling, but he wants to meet you. I was wondering if you would come for dinner on Sunday? I’d like to give him a day to settle in.”

“Sure. I might have some insight for him, pointers.”

“Can you bring the car?”

V laughed, the knot in her chest loosening, “yeah, I’ll bring the car.”

***

Dinner had, surprisingly, been great. River had been honest, open, and apologetic. Within an hour, they were sharing stories and talking about their childhood like there had never been any break between them.

“I wish tonight didn’t have to end,” River complained as she drove him back to his truck, his hand resting on her thigh, “I’ve been having fun.”

“Don’t fuck him,” Johnny said from behind her, “make him work for it.”

“It was good,” V agreed, parking next to his truck.

“I have a meeting tomorrow about a job, might be my first time working for myself.”

“Sounds exciting,” V leaned against the door of her car as River walked around “if you need help, let me know.”

“I will,” River reached for her, taking her hip in his organic hand, “can I kiss you goodnight, or are you still mad at me?”

“Still mad at you,” V grabbed his necklace, pulling him in and pressing her lips against his gently, “but you weren’t the only one thinking about that kiss.”

River smiled, kissing her again, “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

River laughed, “you’re a tough one, V.”

“I might be,” V nipped at his bottom lip, “but you want me.”

“No doubt about that,” River hugged her, “goodnight, V.”

“Night, River.”

V waved as he pulled away, turning to Johnny as he appeared beside her.

“Good job, kid. Got him wanting you, leaving him wondering how good your tits look outside of that gravity-defying bra. He’ll call you before you get home.”

“You think?”

“I know,” Johnny smirked, “now, let’s delta.”

***

V scrubbed the makeup from her skin, brushing her hair from the ponytail and wincing as the roots protested after being up all night.

It was as she got into bed that her phone chimed, and Johnny appeared beside her with a smug grin.

_Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you – River_

“Called it.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey, V.”

“It’s a miracle,” V stretched out on her couch, “River Ward, _actually calling_.”

“I said I would,” River defended, but smiled at her through the screen, “what are you up to?”

“Just relaxing, have a job in a few hours.”

“What are you doing?”

“Be honest,” Johnny appeared on the floor beside her, “if he can’t handle it, you know it’s not meant to be.”

“I’ve got a hit on a guy that’s fuckin’ with the joy toys, filming disgusting BDs, hurting them. The Moxes asked me to remove the issue, so to speak.”

“You can’t just…talk to him?”

“That’s not what they pay me for.”

The silence dragged, and V felt her anxiety grow by the second.

It had always been like this, anytime she had turned her attention from the guys at the Coyote, or Heywood in general, they would be surprised by the extreme nature of her job. That’s why she had loved Jackie like a brother, he understood the cost of survival, and he had never judged her for it.

She was about ready to hang up when River spoke again.

“Do you need help?”

Shocked was an understatement, and V took a second to collect herself, “No, I should be fine. This is pretty typical.”

“How often do you uh…do this?”

“Hits, or jobs?”

“Hits.”

“Honest,” Johnny reminded her from the floor.

“Depends how often they come up, a few times a month.”

“Is that…all you do for work?”

“No, I helped with the mayor’s case, right? Sometimes I get hired to steal things, welfare checks, move items throughout the city. It’s not all violent, I’ve done a bunch of jobs where I’m in and out without anyone even knowing.”

“How’d you get into it?”

“Tryin’ not to starve to death, keeping my siblings fed.”

“Where are they now? In the same line of work?”

“No. I have two sisters; they both work for corps in Atlanta. I lost my brother to black lace about three years ago.”

“You decided to stay in NC?”

“Growing up my entire job was making sure that they grew up to be _something_. Now that they have, I don’t have the skill to do much else. Corps don’t want me, not smart enough to be Ripper.”

“What about the NCPD?”

V laughed, _hard_ , “you’re joking, right?”

“What’s so funny?”

“God, River, you booked me. You know what the NCPD thinks of people like me, they would have never let me into the force. Hell, even _you_ judged me for what I was like in the past, and you told me that you were in love with me. I showed up for foundations, they would have kicked my ass out.”

“I guess…”

“They would have, for sure,” V shrugged, “I’m not mad about it, but it would have never been in the cards for me.”

“In foundations, you’re taught that the system is there to help. I’ve been out of the force for a few weeks, and I’m starting to wonder who it helps.”

“The corps, the NCPD, the politicians,” V listed off, “not people like me, or Randy, or anyone else under the poverty line.”

“Starting to see that,” River sighed, “but how do I help now?”

“That’s for you to figure out,” V tried for a reassuring smile, “and now you’ve got the time to do it.”

***

“Is Vik single?”

“Don’t know,” V answered Johnny, “why, are you interested?”

“You two would be cute together.”

“He’s old enough to be my dad.”

“So am I, but you would fuck me if you had the chance.”

V didn’t bother denying it, “if you got a haircut, maybe.”

“What’s wrong with my hair?”

“Where did you want me to start?”

“Fuck,” Johnny snorted, “I think I liked you better when you were down on yourself. You’re a bitch when you’re happy.”

“I’m sure it was in fashion in 2023, or whenever you were around.”

“Your cop doesn’t even _have_ hair.”

“He shaves it, he’s not bald.”

“Doesn’t even have chest hair, he’s like a newborn baby.”

“You don’t have chest hair, either,” V shot back.

“Can’t wait until you get laid, you’re so annoying.”

***

“V? Hey.”

“Hey River,” V excused herself from Wilson with an apologetic smile, “what’s up?”

“I have a situation.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“I’m meant to be getting Randy, my truck got most of the way there and broke down. Any chance I could get a ride?”

“Where are you?”

“Corner of Bradbury and Buran.”

“Ah, you’re near my place. Yeah, hang tight, I’ll come and grab you.”

“You’re a lifesaver.”

“Call a tow-truck, ask them to take your car to John’s Auto, he’ll fix it. If you leave it on the streets the Tyger Sharks will get it.”

“Will do.”

“Give me ten.”

***

“You didn’t need to bring the Caliburn,” River got in with a smile, “I appreciate it though.”

“Bring Randy home in style.”

“Hey,” River caught her hand, bringing it to her lips to kiss her knuckles, “It’s nice to see you.”

V fought the blush that threatened to take over, “you too.”

“I called.”

“You did,” V agreed, “ _twice_.”

“I cleaned up my place, too. Just to impress you.”

“You didn’t need to clean up your place, I was already impressed.”

“Was it the calves?”

“It was.”

***

V leaned against her car having a cigarette while she waited for River to come out with Randy, a vague sense of nerves at meeting the young man she had worked so hard to save.

“Why?”

“Why am I nervous?” V glanced at Johnny, “you used to use drugs, you know how hard it is to stay clean when other people use drugs around you. I’ve worked hard at staying sober.”

“I tried a tolerance break, once. Kerry threatened to kill me.”

“If you’re happy to use, who am I to judge, right? But I made a change after I lost my brother. I want to stay changed.”

“I’m sorry about your brother, must have been hard after trying so hard to keep them healthy.”

“Other than Jackie, it’s my one great failure in life.”

“Doubt it was your fault though.”

“Why do you think I told River to get the drugs out of his house right away?” V shrugged, clearing her throat to avoid the tears that always came to the surface when she talked about it, “it was only my fault.”

Johnny didn’t have anything to say, wrapping his arm over her shoulder in an embrace she couldn’t feel.

“Shit.”

V turned at the voice, smiling at Randy’s face as he looked at the car.

“Randy, this is V.”

“Hey,” V walked around to help with the door, holding it open as River helped Randy out of the wheelchair, “nice to meet you.”

“I remember you,” Randy’s voice was still hoarse, and he was pale, but he offered her a shaking hand regardless, “thanks, for coming to find me.”

“My pleasure,” V waited for River to do up Randy’s seatbelt, “now let’s get you home.”

“Thanks, V.”

***

V held open the door to the trailer as River helped Randy inside, following them to pull out a chair for Randy to sit.

“Thanks,” Randy groaned, “still exhausting to walk.”

“I bet,” V sat across from him as River fussed back and forth bringing in the bags, “glad to be home?”

“I…uh…no. Not really.”

“Why not?”

“My place…”

“I cleaned out your stash,” V gave him a reassuring smile, “it should be safe. You were pretty creative, but I had a lot of experience to go on.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Randy seemed to relax, sagging in the chair, “River just…lectures. NCPD, you know? My mom worries. My brother and sister…”

“Too young to understand, I get it. River’s trying.”

“You two are…together?”

“Eh…” V shrugged, “sort of?”

“Sort of what?” River asked as he joined them.

“Randy wants to know if we’re together.”

“I’m trying,” River grabbed some drinks and brought them over to the table, “she’s not easily won.”

“Your brother is a dick sometimes,” V pointed out, “he has some issues to work through.”

Randy chuckled, weak but present, “you’re telling me.”

***

Randy had gotten more and more anxious, made worse when Joss had come back with the kids and the house had exploded into a flurry of activity that he couldn’t get away from.

V kept a close eye but didn’t interfere until she noticed his hands shaking on the table as River and Joss started talking about where he was going to sleep for the night.

“Come on,” V stood, helping Randy up with his arm around her shoulders, “let’s get some air.”

River and Joss had paused, just long enough to ask where they were going as they slowly walked by.

“Out for a smoke. Finish your conversation, we’ll be just outside.”

V helped Randy into one of the chairs on the porch, shutting the door to the trailer before she sat beside him.

“Do you smoke?”

“Mom doesn’t like it when I do.”

“I didn’t ask if Joss liked it,” V offered her cigarette case to Randy, “I asked if you smoked.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Randy took a cigarette, letting V light it for him, “it was getting…”

“Too much, too loud, too much pressure. I know,” V lit her cigarette, “you’re in for a rough few weeks, but if you stick with it you’ll be happy you did.”

“How long since…”

“I used? Since my brother died, minus a few relapses.”

“I don’t want to be back here,” Randy admitted.

“You could come back to my place if you want. If you need a change. I live right in NC though, you might find it loud.”

“Why would you help me?”

“You remind me of my brother,” V glanced at him, “I let him down. I can be here for you, though.”

“River doesn’t understand.”

“He wants to.”

“Do you like him?”

“Yeah,” V blew out a stream of smoke, “I think I’m a bit much for him, but he seems nice.”

“He hasn’t dated anyone in years. Never brought anyone back here. I always thought he was ashamed of us.”

“Not at all,” V assured him, “he loves you guys like crazy.”

The door opened, and V looked over her shoulder as River joined them.

“Can I come out, or is it cool kids only?”

“It’s fine,” Randy dropped his cigarette butt into a bottle, “just getting to know your girlfriend.”

“Did she tell you about her cars?”

“No…”

“Other than that one?” V pointed, “want a list?”

“Wait, you have enough for a list?”

***

“I was going to buy a Hella, once,” Randy was more engaged than he had been all night, River and Joss watching with delight as he talked cars with V, “wasted my money on drugs and stuff. I wanted to get a sports kit for it.”

“They’re good cars,” V sipped her beer, “first car I bought when I started making decent money. Mine is still stock, minus the vehicle retrieval system. Once I got my bike it mostly stayed in the garage.”

“I always wanted a Porsche 911 Turbo.”

“Told you it was a good car,” Johnny appeared on the steps.

“Like Silverhand?”

“Yeah,” Randy nodded, “black though, not silver. Thought about putting the Samurai logo on the hood.”

“You like Samurai?”

“’Course I do, Johnny Silverhand was a legend.”

“I like this kid,” Johnny smirked, “he’s got better taste than you.”

***

V helped Randy into his trailer, River close behind, “want me to crash on the couch? If you need to talk I’ll be just out in the living room.”

“That’s okay, I think I’m probably going to sleep for the next twelve hours.”

V helped him down onto the bed, “I have a proposal for you.”

“You do?”

“Mmhmm,” V stood, “you make it the week without using, you can have my Hella.”

River and Randy looked at her with an equal measure of shock.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“How much?”

“Not buy, _have_.”

“Like…for free?”

“For free, on the condition you stay clean. You start using again, the car comes back to me. You’ll need a car to get a job, anyway, once you’re better.”

“You’re joking.”

“Do I look like I’m joking?” V rolled her eyes, “how mean do you think I am, Randy? Hey, welcome home, here’s a mean prank to fuck with you.”

“Why would you help me?”

V shrugged one shoulder, “why not? I needed a helping hand, once. Now I’m in the position to help someone else. Do we have a deal?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, I’ll hold you to it. You have my number, if you start having a bad day, you need to talk. Call me. I promise I won’t tell River if you do.”

“Thanks, V.”

“Night, Randy,” V slipped from the room leaving River alone with Randy as she stepped outside for a smoke.

“That was mighty nice of you, V.”

“My brother loved cars,” V sat on the porch, “I miss him.”

“River’s going to have words for you when he comes out. Cops don’t like taking charity.”

“Wasn’t charity.”

“I know,” Johnny sat next to her, “just warning you.”

V looked up at the stars, the ones that she couldn’t see from the light pollution of Night City, and wondered if her brother might be looking back at her. Johnny didn’t leave but didn’t offer any advice. He wasn’t the sort of person to get into a conversation about the existence of God or heaven. It was times like this that V wished she could lean against him. She missed the reassurance that Jackie would give her, the arm over the shoulder, the lingering hug, the punch on the shoulder when she acted like a bitch.

Her sisters rarely called anymore; her brother was gone. She was facing death alone.

“Not alone,” Johnny said softly, “but I get it. Hug your cop.”

“I should head home,” V glanced at her car, “we have work to do.”

“You can take a night,” Johnny seemed quieter than normal, “just…take a pill so I don’t need to see cop cock.”

“Big assumption on your part, Johnny.”

“Third date, V.”

“Emotionally charged day, though. He might not even want me to stay around.”

“He loves his family, you helped his family today. He’s going to be hard the second he sees you.”

“Maybe.”

“Good luck, V.”

***

River came out of the trailer about ten minutes later, sitting down heavily next to her.

“How much?”

“For?”

“The car.”

“I meant what I said. If he stays clean, he can have it.”

“I can’t ask you to do that, V.”

“You didn’t ask, I offered. It’s just gathering dust.”

“I’m speechless.”

“You’ve been talkin’ plenty, actually.”

River snorted, “you’re a smart ass.”

“I know.”

“Will you stay?”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“Yeah,” River took her hand, “I do.”

***

V and River crept through the house, past Dorian and Monique toward River’s room.

“We need to get you a trailer of your own.”

“Tell me about it,” River pulled off his shirt, “soon, I hope. Did you have meds or something you needed to take?”

“Mmhmm,” V pulled one of the bull pills from her pocket, swallowing it without water.

“Can I ask what’s going on?”

V hesitated, suddenly wishing for Johnny’s guidance.

“Yeah, sure. You might want to sit down.”

***

“Shit,” River breathed when she had finished, “do you know how to get it out?”

“Well, I’m working with an ex-Arasaka guard who might get me in contact with Hanako Arasaka. The Aldecaldos might have an idea, too. I’m not all that sure. I should be honest with you, though, River. According to every ripper I’ve spoken with since, I’m dying. I’ll be lucky to make it the month.”

“Fuck,” River sighed, “figures I meet the perfect chick and something like this happens. What can I do to help?”

“Probably nothing, but I appreciate you offering.”

“I’m not giving up that easily, there must be something. Anything.”

“Honestly, I could just use a friend. Someone I could trust when things are getting hard.”

“I can be that for you,” River pulled her in for a hug, and V closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of being held, “though I’d like to be a bit more than _just_ friends.”

“Even knowing about Johnny?”

“Didn’t change anything, I still care about you.”

V was surprised at how relieved she was, burying her face against his neck. She wasn’t sure when her happiness had become so tied up in River, but she was falling, fast.

“You’re beautiful,” River kept his voice low, combing his fingers through her hair, “and kind, and I’m all sorts of crazy about you.”

“Feeling is mutual,” V kissed his jaw.

River pulled back, just enough to kiss her properly, “let’s get ready for bed.”

“Okay.”

***

A tension settled over the room as each layer of clothing was removed. River’s leather pants hitting the floor, followed by V’s. He settled back on his bed and watched her crawl over him, straddling his lap with a grin.

“Do you have plans for me, V?”

“I have many plans for you, _detective_ ,” V kissed him again, “none of which I want Dorian, Monique, or Joss to hear.”

River winced, “fair.”

“Maybe you could come over to my place later this week, once everything is settled, I could show you?”

“I’d like that,” River stroked the bare skin of V’s thighs, “could I get a sample?”

“Mmhmm,” V kissed him with a gentle lick of her tongue against his bottom lip until he opened for her, moaning _loudly_ as their tongues brushed together.

V swatted his shoulder with a soft giggle, “shh.”

“Sorry,” River smiled, “didn’t mean to.”

River was surprisingly vocal, considering he lived in a trailer with three other people. V found her guard slipping as they kissed, enjoying each of the moans that she caught against her lips.

“V,” River slipped his organic hand under her shirt, spreading his fingers across her lower back, “I want you so bad.”

“Yeah?”

“I might not be the biggest guy in the world,” River chuckled, “but please tell me you can tell.”

V smiled, rolling her eyes, “I can tell.”

“Had me worried there for a minute.”

V reached between them, stroking him through his boxers, “mind if I take a closer look?”

“Be my guest.”

V slid down the bed, grabbing the waistband of his boxers on her way, “lift.”

River helped V pull the boxers down and off, settling back against the bed with a slight look of unease as V took her time to admire him. It wasn’t surprising really that his cock was similar to the rest of him, thick and impressive.

“You’re gorgeous.”

River blushed at the compliment, “yeah?”

“Mmhmm,” V pushed his legs apart, kneeling between them, “keep your voice down.”

“Why? What are you going to - _shit_.”

V shot him a look as she took the head of his cock into her mouth, sucking firmly. River covered his mouth with his organic hand, taking in a deep breath as she mapped the ridge with her tongue.

V could tell immediately it had been a while, River’s legs and stomach twitching each time she moved. It had been some time for her, too, but something about having a huge man completely under her control was intoxicating.

“ _Damn_ ,” River breathed, as V brought her hand into the mix, stroking what she couldn’t take with her mouth, “ _V_.”

 _Oh yeah,_ V would have smiled if she could, _this is fun_.

It wasn’t long before V saw all the signs of River trying to hold back, his leg muscles flexing under her hand, his hips rocking slightly. She humored him, pulling back to give him a short break.

“Feel good?”

“Fuck yeah,” River traced her swollen lips with his thumb.

“You want to cum in my mouth?”

River’s eye widened, “can I?”

“Sure,” V kissed his hip, “just give me a warning, okay?”

“Yeah, of course.”

V didn’t take it easy on him, sucking firmly and pumping his cock with a low moan around him. River was panting in no time, his cybernetic hand flexing on the sheets under him. V glanced up when his organic hand pulled her hair away from her face.

“I’m close,” River’s eyes met hers, “and I want to watch.”

V was _very_ aware that she was soaking through her underwear at this stage, wishing fiercely that she had a hand free to push between her legs to ease the ache.

River only managed to keep his eyes on her for a second before he had to force them closed, biting his lip to try and contain the moans as he spilled. It didn’t work, and V was certain that Joss could hear him.

V didn’t pull away until all of his muscles relaxed, and he let out a satisfied groan under his breath.

“Shit, V, that was unbelievable.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” River pulled her back into his lap, “can I touch you?”

“If you don’t, I’m going to do it myself.”

“I want to watch that, too. Can I take your shirt off?”

“Sure,” V lifted her arms to help him pull the shirt over her head.

“Whoa,” River admired her tattoo, “nice snake.”

“Thanks. Less talking, more touching.”

River didn’t bother to take her underwear off, pushing it to the side as he stroked between her folds, “you’re soaked.”

“I know,” V kissed him again, gasping as he pressed his finger inside of her, stroking her clit with his thumb.

“Okay?”

V nodded, closing her eyes and resting her forehead against his, “hard and fast, okay?”

“You got it, babe.”

 _Best thing about cops_ , V gripped his shoulders with a white-knuckled grip, _they follow orders_.

River maybe wasn’t the _fastest_ at learning her body, but her stifled moans probably didn’t give him much to go on. Gradually the pleasure started to build, River picking up how to touch her with each gentle flutter of her pussy around his fingers.

“Like that, _”_ V ordered when he found the perfect curl against her front wall, “don’t change anything.”

River chuckled, a low rumble between them, “okay.”

Steadily she felt it building, her nails digging into his skin as she got closer and closer. When it _finally_ reached its peak, she kissed him, whimpering her satisfaction against his lips.

“That’s it,” River soothed as she trembled in his arms, “beautiful.”

“God,” V chuckled, “can’t wait to get you home where I can ride you properly.”

“I’m ready now if you are.”

V glanced between them, arching her eyebrow in surprise when she found him hard against his stomach again, “impressive, Detective Ward.”

“Is that a yes?”

“No,” V smiled, “but I’ve got some ideas.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Drug withdrawal
> 
> If that isn't your bag you can miss this chapter and catch up in the next one.

V woke up to the sound of screaming.

It was the sort of screaming that spoke to a primal terror, something that brought your skin up in goosebumps just being near to the sound.

“Randy,” River shot out of the bed first, followed by V who grabbed his shirt and tugged on her pants before she sprinted out the door after him.

“He won’t wake up,” Joss shouted to River as they ran across the dying grass toward his trailer, “he’s just trashing and screaming.”

V pushed him out of the way, using her size to his advantage to get past him in the tiny hallway, ducking into the bathroom to soak a cloth in cold water.

“Randy,” River was shouting, “it’s a dream, wake up.”

“He’s not fuckin’ sleepin’, River, don’t pin him down, you’ll make it worse,” V tugged River away from the bed, “move.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Randy,” V kept her voice low and soothing, “it’s V, you’re going to feel something cold on the back of your neck, it’s just me.”

V placed the cloth around the back of Randy’s neck, holding it in place as she kept speaking to him.

“You’re home,” V ducked as Randy thrashed, staying close, “in your trailer. River is here, your mom is here, my hand is on your shoulder and I’ve got a cold cloth on your neck. You’re safe. Take a deep breath.”

It took a while, but gradually the thrashing lessened, the screaming stopped, and Randy stilled on the bed with his eyes open, vacant, and looking at nothing.

“What happened?” River looked around the room, “he using again?”

“No, he’s having a flashback,” V tugged Randy up, pulling him half in her lap to push the hair from his face, “you’re okay, deep breaths, focus on the cold, I’ve got you.”

Randy’s eyes fluttered and came into focus, looking up at V confused, “V?”

“Hey, bud,” V managed a smile, “you okay?”

“What happened?”

“Best guess? Flashback. Black lace fucks with you a bit, traps you in the worst part of your mind as you go through withdrawal. It’s okay, we got you back.”

Randy’s eyes welled, “it wasn’t real?”

“It was, once, but not anymore,” V pulled Randy into a hug, stroking his hair as River and Joss watched from the door, “NCPD shot him, he can’t get you here. He can’t get anyone anymore.”

“You’re sure?”

“He’s in a coma, but if you want me to go and zero him I’ll add it onto my list.”

“You’d do that?”

“If it’ll make you feel better, sure. I could hack my way through a hospital easy enough.”

Randy seemed to come back to himself, pulling away from V with a blush, “uh, sorry.”

“I’m not someone you’re going to need to apologize to through this, Randy,” V moved the cloth from his neck to wipe the sweat from his brow, “I’ve done it.”

Randy closed his eyes at the cool cloth brushing across his forehead, “I’m glad you’re here, V.”

“Me too.”

***

V took Randy outside as Joss changed the sweat-soaked sheets from his bed, offering him a cigarette as River watched nearby.

“Anything else I should expect?”

“Shit, kid, I’m not going to give you a list. It’s different for everyone and I don’t want you to expect bad things to happen when they might not.”

“How’d you know it was lace?”

“It was closest to your bed,” V lit a smoke of her own, “I kept my drug of choice nearby, too.”

“What was yours?”

“Lace, like you.”

“How did you get clean?”

“Locked myself in a shitty motel for a few weeks.”

“Alone?”

“Before I had Jackie was always alone. That wasn’t the sort of thing I would have my sisters deal with, they were in Atlanta by then anyway.”

Randy seemed to consider the information, watching V from the corner of his eye, “do you regret it?”

“What, getting sober?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s to regret?” V shrugged, “bad few months, sure. Some setbacks. I have…”

 _Who_ , her mind chimed in, _who do you have_?

“Me,” Johnny appeared beside River, “this idiot, too.”

“I have friends now,” V continued, “River, Vik, Misty. People who wouldn’t have looked at me twice if I was still on the streets.”

“I don’t know, River seems pretty lost on you.”

V laughed, “he arrested me, once.”

“Did he let you off easy?”

River cleared his throat, “uh, no.”

***

“Are you coming back soon?”

“I don’t know,” V answered as she drank her coffee with Monique set on her lap, “maybe, if Uncle River lets me.”

“River, please?”

River laughed at the chorus of voices, “I don’t know, what do you think, Joss?”

“I think you better marry her,” Joss said pointedly, “she’s the best thing to ever happen to this family. Don’t worry, if River doesn’t invite you over I will.”

“Me too,” Randy spoke from beside her, still pale from the night before but looking better.

“As much as I love being here, I do need to delta, I’ve got some jobs I put off yesterday.”

“I’ll walk you out,” River offered, taking her hand.

V waved goodbye to the kids, walking out toward her car in silence with River.

“I’ll call you,” River promised, “tonight.”

“Uh oh, slippery slope Detective Ward.”

“I promise,” River laughed, “thank you, V, for everything.”

“What part specifically, the blow job, or the cuddles after?”

River kissed her forehead, “all of it.”

“Next round at my place, I still have plans for you.”

“I can’t wait,” River kissed her, “talk soon.”

“Later, babe.”

V considered her options as she pulled onto the highway, rolling down her window.

“We’re going to zero that guy, right? The one that fucked with Randy?”

V glanced at Johnny, “yeah, we’re going to zero him.”

***

“Hey, you.”

“Detective Ward,” V smiled as she answered her phone that night, “how was your day?”

“Got the quote for my truck,” River groaned as he dropped onto his bed, “but, I also got a call from the Elizabeth Peralez, something about a referral for a good PI.”

“You don’t say,” V looked out her apartment window, “how lucky.”

“V?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

***

_It’s Joss’s birthday – can you make it for dinner – River_

V smiled at the phone as she got the message, thinking about what jobs she had for the day.

“Just go,” Johnny appeared beside her, “you work better when you’re happy, anyway. You’ve almost found 15,000 eddys in two days.”

“Or I can work,” V shot back, “and have the money for Hellman tonight.”

“Rogue can wait.”

“I thought you didn’t like him?”

“I don’t like him,” Johnny shrugged, “but you’re kind of okay, and he makes you happy. Randy might like to see you, too.”

“You feeling paternal, Johnny?”

“Maybe.”

“Did you have any kids, when you were around? Anyone you want me to find?”

Johnny laughed, “V, I was a Rockstar, I probably have all sorts of kids I don’t know.”

V smiled, “Yeah, maybe.”

“Go.”

_Sure, what time? – V_

_7, it’ll just be take out, our fridge died last night – River_

_Shit – got a new one coming? – V_

_In a job or two- River_

“Can’t let the kids starve, V.”

“Yeah,” V sighed, “think Rogue can wait a few days?”

“She’s going to have to.”

***

V pulled into the trailer park just as the delivery guys pulled in, River and Joss stepping out of the house to see what the commotion was.

“In there,” V pointed to the trailer, “you’re taking the old one, too, right?”

“Part of the deal,” the delivery man growled around a cigar that he had been sucking on for the entirety of the drive, “Wakako told us.”

“Good,” V smiled as Monique and Dorian bolted up to her, “Hey, I need some helpers.”

“What’s on the truck, V?”

“A new fridge,” V opened her trunk, “but we need the stuff to put inside of it, right?”

“Yeah!”

V pulled out the grocery bags, passing to one of each of the kids, “walk, don’t run, okay?”

“V, what is all this?”

“I, uh,” V suddenly felt awkward as River and Joss surrounded her, “was owed a favor, called it in.”

“We can’t accept this, V,” Joss’s eyes widened as the fridge was wheeled off the truck, “it’s too much, you’ve already done so much for our family.”

“Well, I don’t have anywhere to put it,” V passed the rest of the bags to River, “so happy birthday.”

“V,” Joss pulled her into a crushing hug, “thank you.”

“Yeah, no problem. Can’t have the kids eating take out for too many days, right? They won’t sleep.”

River kissed her forehead, whispering, “I’ll pay you back.”

“You don’t need to,” V shut the trunk, “where’s Randy?”

“Inside, he’s been glued to the news. Something about Anthony Harris, a big press release in an hour or so.”

***

“I can confirm that in the early hours of the morning,” an NCPD officer read from a monitor, “there was a cyberattack against Anthony Harris, the “Peter Pan” serial killer, recently apprehended by NCPD. In this attack, Mr. Harris’s life support systems were compromised ultimately resulting in his death. We believe this attack to be targeted, and no other patients are believed to be at risk.”

A silence hung over the room as River, Randy, and Joss looked at V.

“Sounds like a big issue,” V took a sip of her beer, “they should get better malware protection.”

“V…”

“Yeah, River?”

“Did you do that?” Randy cut in.

“You know, they’re likely to question his surviving victims, better make sure you all know where you’ve been for the past 24 hours,” V deflected.

“I was at work,” Joss said slowly, “River and Randy were here with Dorian and Monique, and you…”

“At work,” V leveled Joss with a pointed look, “doing what I do best.”

Randy let out a long breath, “he’s gone?”

“Mmhmm,” V avoided River’s eyes, “done and gone.”

“Thanks, V.”

“No idea what you’re talkin’ about,” V pat Randy’s shoulder, “I was at work, remember?”

***

“How’d you do it?”

V sat on the bed next to River, playing with his necklace, “I shut off his life support.”

“Do you think he suffered?”

“Not like he should have,” V shrugged one shoulder, “but now Randy knows he’s safe, so…”

“I’m struggling, a bit,” River admitted, “you know I considered it, but…”

“River,” V traced his jaw with her fingertips, “the sooner you stop comparing us, the happier you’ll be. You’re the sort of cop that NCPD dreamed of, you’re honest and noble, _I_ am a total piece of shit who will do whatever it takes to survive and keep my family safe. We live with different ethics.”

“You’re not a piece of shit.”

“I just zeroed a man in a coma because he fucked with my boyfriend’s nephew.”

“You bought a fridge and a month worth of groceries for a family of five so they didn’t starve.”

“I didn’t say I was _always_ a piece of shit.”

“So…” River pulled her in for a kiss, “your boyfriend, eh?”

“Well, you did remember to call me.”

River growled, pulling her onto the bed and pinning her underneath him, “maybe I should show you just how much your boyfriend appreciates you?”

“I’m all yours, Detective.”

***

“His tuning is wrong.”

“Hm?” V glanced up from the generator she was fixing with River, finding Johnny next to Randy as he played guitar nearby.

“Never Fade Away,” Johnny pointed, “he needs to fix his tuning.”

“Uh, okay,” V glanced at River and found him watching her closely, “Hey, Randy? Your tuning is off.”

“What do you mean?”

“He needs to drop the top string.”

“You need to drop the top string,” V parroted.

Randy adjusted the tuning, “there?”

“Bit more.”

“Tiny bit more.”

Randy strummed his guitar, and Johnny nodded, “his pickups are shit, but that’s better.”

“You got it, kiddo,” V went back to changing the fuses.

“How did you know that?”

“Johnny told me,” V answered River, avoiding how awkward it made her feel, “he can hear everything I can. He’s taken a liking to the kid.”

“You can talk to him?”

“Unless I take my meds, yeah.”

“So why don’t you take them?”

“I like having him around,” V felt the blush across her cheeks, “until you came around it felt like he might be the only person in all of NC who cared what happened to me.”

“He was a terrorist.”

Johnny appeared on top of the generator, “judgy for an unemployed cop.”

“I killed a man in a coma yesterday,” V shot back, “to help _one_ man. Johnny tried to blow up Arasaka Tower to save _all_ men.”

“Beating a dead horse, V. He won’t understand.”

“You support him?”

“Yeah,” V fought the urge to get defensive, “cause you know what? If it had worked, I wouldn’t be dying right now, and Johnny wouldn’t be trapped in my head. If I could figure it out, I would bomb Arasaka, Mikoshi, and every damn thing they touched. Arasaka are the terrorists, River.”

“Okay, easy, just asking.”

“You’re not just asking,” V switched the wires around, “you’re judging. Like a cop. Like all cops always fuckin’ judge. Half cocked and without the information they need to make a real judgement.”

“NCPD-”

“Are also terrorists. They fill their cops up with tech and then send Max-Tac out to kill them when they turn crazy with chrome poisoning. I had to warn a cop once when her own Chief took out a hit on her. Once you stop thinkin’ like a cop, River, you’ll find the world isn’t just black and white. NC is a cesspit grey.”

River when quiet, watching as V worked for a few minutes before he spoke again, “you might be right.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, that’s what we call character development,” Johnny appeared just behind River, “maybe the meathead isn’t as stupid as I thought.”

“I am right,” V flicked the switch, the generator roaring to life, “six months ago, you would have thought I was nothing but a criminal. You wouldn’t haven’t even spoken to me outside of booking me for a parking ticket. Now you say you’re in love with me.”

“I am in love with you.”

V glanced at him, “you think so?”

“I know so,” River pulled her in for a kiss, “so why don’t we agree to disagree.”

“Fine,” V kissed his cheek, “but lay off of Johnny. He’s the only reason I gave you a shot after you ghosted me. You owe him.”

“You gettin’ defensive for me, V? Knew you liked me.”

“Shut up, Johnny, or I’ll suck his cock without meds.”

“Fuck you.”

***

_Hey – can you come by soon? -River_

_I’d love to, but my work is in NC, and if I fall too far behind the Fixers stop calling me – V_

“Good for you, set limits.”

“I miss him, but we’re running out of time,” V disabled the cameras and slipped inside the warehouse, “maybe I can see him next week if we have time.”

“How’s Randy?”

“From what I’ve heard, fine. He’s probably got another week with the really bad shit, then it’s all uphill.”

“He gets your car tomorrow, right?”

“He sure does.”

“I’m proud of the kid.”

“Me too,” V sent a cyberware malfunction toward the netrunner blocking her way.

“Proud of you, too,” Johnny walked beside her, “for helping him.”

“Thanks, dad.”

“Shut up, V. I’m a cool uncle at best.”

“Thank you, Uncle Johnny.”

“No, that’s gross I changed my mind.”

***

“V?”

“River?” V checked the time, “it’s 3 AM.”

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s Randy.”

“What’s goin’ on?” V forced herself to sit so she didn’t fall asleep again.

“He’s clawin’ at his skin, saying he has an itch that he can’t get rid of.”

“Ugh, fuck,” V stood, grabbing the nearest pair of pants, “I’ll bring my bike, be there in twenty. Keep him distracted.”

“We were going to take him to the hospital.”

“Can you guys afford another week? Cause they’ll keep him.”

River was silent, and V could faintly hear Joss soothing Randy in the background.

“Just…hold on, okay?” V jogged from her apartment down the stairs, “I’m already on the move.”

“Thanks, V.”

“No problem.”

***

V took the steps to Randy’s trailer in a jump, pushing open the door.

“He’s started scratching bad enough he’s bleeding. He seems out of it. We can’t snap him out of it.”

“I know, it’s okay, how are you with cold showers?”

“I mean, I don’t like them…”

“Go find me a really long t-shirt, okay? Couple towels too.”

River nodded, taking off toward the main trailer as V walked into Randy’s bedroom.

“Hey, bud, rough night?”

“V,” Randy looked up at her, panicked, “it won’t stop.”

“I know, it’s okay,” V shot a reassuring smile to Joss, “I’m going to help, I promise.”

“It’s like sparks under my skin,” Randy winced, “can you make it stop?”

“Yeah, I just need River to bring me some stuff.”

River rushed back in, “this work?”

V grabbed the shirt, “Joss, can you get those towels hot somehow? Like dryer, or the oven real low?”

“Sure.”

“River, take Randy into the bathroom. I’ll be right there.”

“Come on, kiddo.”

V took off her jeans when they left the room, tugging her tank top over her head and pulling River’s t-shirt on. Feeling a sense of relief when she found it hit her mid-tight.

“Well, shit,” V took a deep breath.

“What are you going to do?” Johnny followed her down the hallway, “why are you stripping?”

“Nothing fun. If you can feel my skin like yours, you might want to delta.”

Randy was trembling in River’s arms as she walked into the bathroom, turning the shower on as cold as it would go.

“V?”

“Randy, I’m not going to lie, this is going to suck, but it’s going to stop the itch, okay?”

Randy nodded, his fingers gripping River’s shirt in a white-knuckled grip.

“I’m going to help you, cause your legs are still a bit weak, come here,” V reached for Randy, “rest your arms on my shoulders, okay? I’ll support your weight.”

It looked all the world like an awkward hug, Randy’s arms over V’s shoulders, standing as far away from her as he could manage while staying on his feet.

“Okay this is going to be cold, real cold, just hold on okay?”

V took two steps back, bringing them both under the freezing shower, her breath ripped from her chest as the cold water soaked River’s t-shirt.

Randy winced, but held onto V as she guided his bare chest and arms under the water with her, his pyjama pants soaked within seconds.

“What the fuck, V…”

“Resets the nerves, sort of,” V started to shiver as she answered Johnny, “we’ll freeze for a few minutes, then warm him up with the towel. If he could stand I would have him in here by himself.”

Joss rushed back into the trailer, “I had to put them in the oven, we don’t have a dryer-“

“I know,” V’s teeth started to chatter, “it looks weird, but it’ll help, trust me.”

Randy’s hands slowly stopped twitching, and gradually his fatigue had him leaning more weight on V as the painful itch started to ease.

“How you feeling, buddy?”

“Better,” Randy mumbled, “cold.”

“Not itchy though?”

“No, it stopped.”

“Joss, can you grab the towels? Try and keep them hot.”

“On it.”

“River, when Joss gets back I’m going to need you to help me wrap him up, okay? Go get him dry and warm.”

“Yeah,” River nodded, “got it.”

Joss brought the towels back, passing them to River.

“Right, hold one open, River, I’m bringing him over.”

River did as instructed, towel held open as V backed Randy into his arms, wrapping him tightly in it.

“Preem, go get him dry, warm. Can one of you bring my clothes from his bedroom?”

“Here,” Joss offered the other towel to V.

“No, give him the warm ones, I’ll be fine,” V waved her off, “go, take care of Randy. I can wait.”

V found a dry towel under the sink, struggling as her hands shook with the cold, peeling the soaked t-shirt over her head. There was a soft knock at the door.

“V?”

“Come in,” V glanced at River in the mirror as he brought her clothes, “thanks.”

“You’ve got quite the bag of tricks,” River reached for the towel, helping V dry off, “I always thought that I knew everything there was to know about drugs, and here you come and show me that I don’t know all that much.”

“Tell him not to feel bad, you’ve surprised me a few times,” Johnny spoke from the shower, “never seen that before.”

V held out her arm, a dark red scar on the inside of her bicep, “I’ve been there.”

River kissed her forehead, “thanks for coming. Want me to grab you a sweater or something?”

“Yeah, that would be great.”

***

“Come on,” V helped Randy out into the heat of the Badlands sunrise, “smoke break.”

Randy looked exhausted but sat next to V on the porch and accepted the cigarette as V pulled out her phone.

“Never wanted a big sister,” Randy yawned, “glad you showed up, though.”

“I got you both a blanket and put the coffee on,” River walked out of the trailer, “try and warm you up from the inside.”

“Thanks, babe,” V wrapped the blanket around the both of them, letting Randy rest his head on her shoulder, wrapping her arm around his back.

“When did it get better?”

“Week two,” V answered, exhausted, “it takes a pretty good upswing after week one though.”

“So I’m on the other side?”

“You’re certainly getting there.”

“What would we have done without you, V?” Joss brought out a few mugs on a tray, “you’ve been such a blessing.”

“Well,” V lit a cigarette of her own, “first time I’ve ever heard that.”

***

Randy had perked up after the coffee, and Monique and Dorian had swarmed V as soon as they had woken up fighting for a spot next to her on the steps.

“When did you get here?”

“River called me early this morning,” V let Monique brush her hair, “you were still in bed.”

“Why did you come?”

“Maybe I missed you so much I couldn’t sleep,” V shot over her shoulder, “maybe I wanted to come and kiss River.”

“Gross,” Dorian rolled his eyes, “why would you want to kiss River?”

“Maybe she thinks I’m cute.”

“River,” Monique sighed, “V doesn’t think you’re cute.”

“I don’t know,” V smiled at River, “he’s _sort of_ cute.”

“Are you guys going to get married?”

River blushed, clearing his throat and looking away.

“ _A lot_ of things happen before two grown-ups get married, M.”

“I know,” Monique counted on her fingers, “you date, you fall in love, _then_ you get married. River already told us he loves you, so now you get married.”

“Monique,” Joss cut her off, “don’t be nosey.”

“We haven’t been dating all that long,” V glanced over her shoulder, “when’s your next birthday?”

“In _ten months_.”

“Alright, if River and I are still dating in _ten months_ you can ask again, okay?”

“Okay. Who’s coming?” Monique pointed to the black car rolling up the driveway.

“No one,” V smiled at Randy, “that’s Randy’s car.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry - took a few days to update. 
> 
> Fixed some errors in previous chapters - sorry about those, folks

V could only just hear Joss and River speaking as she showed Randy around the car.

“You need to take her out, River. _Out_. She’s been amazing with the kids, and Randy, but at this stage, she’s more like a nurse than your girlfriend.”

“I know,” River sighed, “but I don’t know if I should be leaving Randy, or you and the kids, while he’s still going through the worst of it.”

“She got here in half an hour. If I need you, I can call.”

“My truck is still in the shop, I couldn’t get back.”

“You really think that V wouldn’t lend you a car? Honestly? River, she’s a city kid, you can’t keep her cooped up here in the Badlands. She’s going to lose interest.”

“You think?”

“I was married, remember? I know how this all works.”

“You’re sure you’ll be okay?”

“We’ll be fine. Go.”

“They’ve always done that,” Randy commented as he played with the various buttons on the dash, “thought they were having private conversations when the person they’re talking about it right next to them. It’s amazing someone didn’t shoot River just eavesdroppin’ on the guy.”

“For someone with such a low voice it sure carries,” V laughed, “here’s the key, but make sure you have the okay to drive before you take it anywhere, okay? It’s a heavy car, slow to stop, so make sure your legs are up for it.”

“Thanks, V. This is great. Now I just need to find a job that’ll take me.”

“What sort of stuff are you into?”

“Cars, or music.”

“Hard to make money in music,” Johnny appeared behind him, “they’re broke enough as it is.”

“You could go both,” V suggested, “practice the guitar but work on cars in the meantime. Consistent income, at least.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Nice ride,” River leaned into the open window, “looks new.”

“It’s been shot…god…twenty times? Jackie had a great mechanic, so it was always replaced with factory parts. If you go over bumps you can hear the bullets rattling in the doors.”

“Really?”

“Mmhmm,” V got out of the car, lighting a smoke, “you’ll see.”

“I hope you said thank you, Randy,” Joss joined them at the car, “this was…very generous.”

“He did, you’ve got a polite boy,” V sighed, “I need to be headed back to the city, got work to do.”

“Anything exciting?”

“Mostly theft today,” V answered Randy, “stealing some stuff that doesn’t belong to someone, stealing stuff back, messin’ with corpos.”

“Maybe I could be a merc.”

“No.”

The word came from three adults at once, and Randy jumped, “okay, mom and River I get, but V?”

“Man, I’ve been shot dozens of times,” V lifted the hem of her shirt for Randy to take the scars in across her stomach, “got my best friend killed and now I’m working with stolen tech that’s killing me. Fast. You don’t want this life, Randy. I’m not going to make my thirtieth birthday, at least if you might the right choices now _you will_.”

“You’re dying?”

“Uh,” V took a deep inhale from her cigarette, “yeah. Lookin’ that way.”

“Can we help?”

“No,” V gave Joss a small smile, “but thanks for asking. Being out here is nice, you know? It takes my mind off of it all.”

“Well you’re welcome here anytime,” Joss squeezed V’s shoulder.

“Thanks. I should go. Wakako doesn’t like to wait.”

“Come on, I’ll walk you to your bike.”

***

_Dinner later? – River_

_Your place?- V_

_I was thinking I might come into the city, check stuff out. Mind bringing me back to yours, or will it mess with your street cred? – River_

_I think I can manage it, I’ll meet you at Toms Diner at 7 – V_

“Well, well, looks like V is finally getting laid.”

“Girl can dream,” V dropped the package off in the dropbox, “he’s good with his hands but fuck if it isn’t annoying trying to keep your voice down around the kids.”

“You know, if you keep up with this long term he’s going to try and trap you in that trailer park. If you think he’s ever going to up and move to the big city, it’s not likely.”

“I know,” V climbed on her bike, taking a minute to light a cigarette, “but maybe if I make it that long I won’t want to be in the city, you know? Maybe I’ll want to relax, settle down.”

“Not likely, V. You’ve grown up here, the neon practically runs through your veins.”

V sighed, “probably right, but still. I’m not going to live that long anyway, right? So I can enjoy the time that I get with him now, and then once I’m gone I’ll be nothing more than a pleasant memory for River, and he can find the perfect girl to settle down with.”

“I’m sorry, V.”

“Yeah,” V switched the bike on, “me too.”

***

V had run home, quickly showered and changed, arriving at Tom’s Diner just as River’s cab pulled up.

“Hey, you,” River pulled her in, kissing her forehead, “you look nice.”

“I’m wearing jeans and one of your t-shirts that I stole,” V laughed, taking his hand and leading him into the restaurant, “it’s like five sizes too big.”

“I like seeing you in my clothes.”

“Detective Ward,” Tom greeted with suspicion.

“Wait,” V deadpanned, “you’re a cop? You never told me.”

“V-“

“I’m fuckin’ with you, Tom. River isn’t on the force anymore, you can chill.”

“You’re sure?”

“Promise. I wouldn’t bring a cop in here,” V pat River’s chest, “he’s cool.”

“If you say so. Sit wherever you want.”

***

“You’ve got to stop walkin’ like that,” V giggled, “that’s why everyone knows you’re a cop.”

“What’s wrong with how I walk?”

“You always look like you’re storming into a drug bust,” V pushed his shoulders down, shook out his arms, “no one but cops walk like that in NC. Relax, soften your back, stop hunching forward.”

River rolled his eyes, “anything else?”

“I mean, the jacket doesn’t help,” V pushed it from his shoulders, folding over her arm, “there. You’re big enough no one will fuck with you, the cybernetics show that you’ve seen some shit and won, and if you walk _normally_ , no one will read you as a cop.”

“If you want to keep undressing me,” River kissed her forehead, “we could go back to your place.”

“That was the plan,” V took his hand, “come on.”

***

“It’s…busy.”

“You worked in NC for how many years? This building surprises you?”

“No, not surprises me, I’m just surprised you sleep with all the noise.”

“I slept on the streets, River. This is practically a luxury apartment.”

“Why is your neighbor getting arrested?”

“No idea, but those cops don’t like me so keep moving,” V opened her apartment door, “come on, mind your business, babe.”

“Wow,” River took in the apartment in a slow circle, “why do you spend so much time in the trailer if you’ve got this place?”

“Because you’re there,” V rolled her eyes, “look around, I can tell you want to _cop_.”

River chuckled, “you don’t mind?”

“Nope,” V dropped his coat over the back of the couch, “if you want to go in the gun room just don’t move anything.”

“Gunroom?”

V pointed, “gunroom.”

“You have a whole room?”

“Mmhmm.”

***

“Impressive collection,” River commented as he came out from exploring, “where did you put mine?”

V pulled River’s gun from the back of her pants, “on me.”

“You like it?”

“It’s a good piece,” V set it on the coffee table, “easy to handle, consistent. I can tell you took care of it.”

River joined her on the couch, “Is this where you lived when you were using?”

“No, I got rid of that place. Man, I would open cupboards months later and find junk. I needed out of there. This was an upgrade I couldn’t afford, but it gave me the space to have Jackie crash here, or my sisters when they remember that I exist.”

“Does it bug you?”

“What?”

“That you don’t see them much.”

“No,” V lit a cigarette, “that’s what kids do. You raise them, they leave. That’s how you know you did your job. They had a traumatic childhood too. I wasn’t a great substitute for a mother, and I was only a few years older than them. NC is a nightmare for them, I don’t expect them to come back.”

“Do you talk much?”

“Once a month or so, if I can track them down.”

“Do they know about the biochip?”

“No. One of them works for Arasaka, I don’t need her to get involved.”

“And when you…”

“Die?” V shrugged, “they’ll assume that NC took me, just like they thought it would. Hopefully, no one will correct them, and life will move on.”

***

“Something important?”

“Hm?” V glanced up from the phone, “oh, sorry, I was just checking in with Joss.”

“Joss?”

“Yeah, you know, making sure Randy was okay, that Dorian and Monique were behaving. Just checking that she didn’t need backup.”

“And?”

“She said she’s fine, Randy seems okay and the kids are in bed.”

“Good,” River wrapped his arm over V’s shoulder, “do you usually check-in?”

“No, but I thought you might be worried.”

“I was.”

“And now?”

“I’m wondering how comfortable that bed is.”

***

“V.”

V let her hand drift over River’s stomach down to the bulge in the front of his pants.

“ _V-_ I swear to fucking god, if you grab his cock without taking a pill I will make you puke all over him.”

“I need to take my meds,” V kissed River’s jaw, “go get undressed. I’ll be right back.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.”

V smiled, “one second.”

V shut the bathroom door behind her, sorting under the sink for Vik’s pills.

“I’m happy for you, honestly, but I don’t want to get laid by a cop.”

“No problem,” V checked her hair in the mirror, “I got carried away.”

“Good luck, choom.”

“See you soon.”

V swallowed the pill smiling as Johnny gave her a wave before disappearing, giving herself one last glance before she went back into the bedroom.

River had taken her at her word and was reclined back on her bed nude, watching her as she walked over to him.

“You’re a confident man, River.”

“Do I have a reason not to be?”

“No,” V started undressing, “not at all. You’re beautiful.”

“Never been described as beautiful before.”

“Really?” V tossed the shirt she had been wearing to the couch, “you don’t get that back, it’s mine now.”

“Never fear, I wasn’t going to take it,” River reached for her, encouraging her to join him on the bed, “I’ve been waiting for this night.”

“This night specifically, or when we could be alone without the kids?”

“Alone without the kids, somewhere that you don’t cover my mouth when you touch me.”

“You may not know this, River, but you’re _really_ vocal in bed.”

“I’ve been told that’s a good quality.”

“It is, but it’s not a great quality when kids are around.”

“But we’re alone now.”

“Yes,” V kissed him, long and slow, “we are.”

***

“I want you _so bad_.”

“Yeah?” V brushed some of her hair from her face, smiling down at River.

“Beautiful woman in my lap who drives me crazy? How could I want anything else?”

V kissed him, affection for River washing over her in a tidal wave. It was almost suffocating how quickly this man had become one of the most important things in her life.

“Can we…”

It was just a small shift really; easy enough to lift up on her knees and sink with a delicious slow slide.

River’s moan sounded like a purr as his head dropped back against the wall, his eyes closed and a delighted smile across his face.

“Good?”

“Everything about you is good, V.”

“We both know that isn’t true,” V rolled her hips, chuckling at the groan that fell from River’s lips, “Been a while?”

“Yeah.”

“You just relax, let me take care of you.”

***

River had never shown himself to be a passive lover, and tonight was no different. There was truly something remarkable about having a partner covered in that much muscle towering over you.

Each roll of River’s hips was accented by the beautiful flex of his abs, his ribs expanding under her hands as he did his best to last as long as she needed.

“Kiss me,” V pulled him down, their lips meeting in a mess of spit and moans.

“V, _shit_ , I can’t.”

“Almost,” V promised, “just a bit harder.”

It turned out _a bit_ when you were built like River was _a lot_.

Thankfully it was just what V needed, her body tightening like a bowstring as the pleasure reached a peak and she whimpered against his lips as he fucked her through it.

“Can I…?”

“ _Yes_.”

River’s moan spoke of such _relief_ that V had the sudden urge to wrap her arms around him, shield him from the work and keep him in the safe space that they had in this moment.

River kissed her forehead, almost too sweet considering he was still deep inside of her, “you’re amazing, V.”

“Pretty impressive yourself.”

“Can I stay?”

“Stupid question, of course, you can stay.”

There was a loud pounding on the wall next to the bed, her neighbour shouting “ _shut up_ ,” loudly enough that River and V both jumped.

“Well, at least it wasn’t Dorian or Monique.”

River laughed, rolling on his back beside her, “I am apparently louder than I thought.”

“Yes, my dear, you are.”

***

“What about this one?”

V glanced down at the scar River was pointing at on her leg, “tailpipe of one of Jackie’s bikes.”

“This one?”

“Um,” V tried to remember, “I think I fell down some stairs.”

“These?”

“Old track marks,” V flexed her arm out of River’s grip.

“Don’t hide from me,” River reached for her wrist, pressing a gentle kiss over the marks, “you don’t need to.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re not the addict in bed with the cop.”

“I’m just as fucked up as you.”

V laughed, “sorry, Detective Ward, I don’t see it.”

River pushed himself up to wrap his arms around her, “I should, uh, tell you about how my parents died.”

“You don’t have to if it upsets you.”

“It upsets me, but you still have the right to know.”

***

“Fuck, River,” V held his hand as he finished the story, “I’m sorry, that’s terrible.”

“Still want me?”

“Of course I do,” V kissed his shoulder, “if you can love me through Johnny and the drugs and the fact I literally kill people for a living.”

“We’re both pretty fucked up, huh?”

“Looks that way.”

***

“Damn,” Johnny’s voice woke V, “must have been good. Even I feel like I had a great night of sex.”

“We did have a very good night of sex.”

“So where’s River?”

“Bathroom I guess?” V rolled and found the bed empty.

“Nope, the door’s open, he’s not in there.”

“You’re joking,” V sat up, holding the blanket to her chest as she looked around the apartment.

“Fuck, V, did he fuckin’ ghost you again?”

“If he did,” V pulled out her phone, “it’s the last time.”

 _Where are you? – V_


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Character injury, blood, gore, and bathroom medicine. 
> 
> If the idea of someone removing a bullet with their hands bugs you, this shit ain't for you.

An hour turned into two.

“Maybe his phone died.”

“Come on, Johnny,” V sighed, “you don’t believe that. Neither do I.”

“I’m sorry, kid,” Johnny sat beside her, “he’s a piece of shit.”

“Yeah,” V felt her chest tighten, “shit.”

“What?”

“I believed him,” V pulled out a cigarette, “he told me that he loved me, and I fuckin’ _believed him_.”

“Shit, V.”

“What a gonk,” V dropped her head back against the back of the couch, aware of the tears starting to run down her face and ignoring them, “I’ve never been one to have a happy ending, I just really hoped you know?”

“I get it. Trust me. Was the same way when Alt looked at me, could hardly believe that she would even notice me.”

“Guess I should get to work, no point in sitting around waiting for someone to call,” V wiped at her face, “he got what he wanted, I guess.”

“You can take a day, V. The world won’t stop if you do.”

“I should message Joss.”

“Nah, give yourself some time to cool your jets. River might be every inch a pig, but you love those kids, and Randy might need you again. Course, if you wanted to send a real message, you could call your car back.”

“I wouldn’t do that to Randy.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Johnny tried to pat her leg, “you’re a good person, V. Don’t let one loser convince you otherwise.”

“Thanks, Johnny.”

***

One day turned into two, then three, and before she knew it, it had been almost a week. V decided to throw herself into work as a distraction.

“I may have been wrong.”

“About?”

“You work well when you’re happy, you’re a fuckin’ tank when you’re mad.”

“Something about killing people soothes the soul,” V parked her car, “come on, time to see Wakako.”

V liked Jig-Jig street, it was an easy place to get lost, no one cared about her there, and it was the one place she could just be _no one_.

“Hey, you got something to keep you goin’.”

V had walked through Jig-Jig street hundreds of times, ignoring that dealer each time since she had gotten clean.

Something about this week had her step slowing, just slightly.

“No, no way,” Johnny appeared between her and the woman leaning against the wall, “keep moving.”

“Why?”

“You’ve told me dozens of times how important it is to you to stay clean, move.”

“One time…”

“Is enough to fuck you over, _move_ , V. You’re not using just because a pig broke your heart.”

V stopped, looking up to the stars she couldn’t see and praying for strength.

“I swear to god, V, if you buy _anything_ from her I’m going to take control if you like it or not.”

“Okay,” V forced herself to start walking again, one step in front of the other until she was level with Wakako’s office.

***

“I’m proud of you.”

V turned to Johnny when they got in the car, holding her hand out so he could see how it was shaking.

“Didn’t say it was easy, but you did the right thing. Don’t let River take any more from you than he already has.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“There are other people who are into you, anyway. Why don’t you call up that Judy chick?”

V sighed, pulling the car into traffic, “I really liked River.”

“What’s so good about him?”

“He had a good heart, loved his family,” V forced herself to keep her emotions level, “he would have been the kind of partner I would have killed for when I was taking care of my sisters. It meant a lot, you know, to have him pick me.”

“Sounds like something for a shrink to unpack, V.”

“Yeah, it probably is. Good thing I won’t live long enough for it to matter.”

***

“Second time she’s called today.”

V glanced down at her phone, Joss’s name flashing across it.

“Yeah.”

“You gonna answer?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Don’t trust myself not to just go back to him if he asked me to. New addiction. I need to keep my distance.”

“What about the kids? Could be something wrong with Randy.”

“He’s almost two weeks in now, the worst of it is over.”

“V-“

“I know, Johnny. I just can’t, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

***

V didn’t have her guard up when the call came in at 3 AM.

“V.”

“V, thank god.”

“Hi, Joss,” V forced her eyes open, checking the time, “it’s 3 AM.”

“Randy’s missing. River went after him a day ago. I haven’t heard from either of them since.”

“Jesus fuck,” V sat up, “Any idea where?”

“Randy said something about a job, I assumed an interview…”

“Shit. Okay. On my way.”

***

“I don’t know where he was going, he took your car and headed out after getting a message on his phone. Seemed happy.”

“Message on his phone,” V hummed, “hang on.”

V pulled up her phone, dialing out to Dakota.

“Smith.”

“Hey, it’s V. Any contracts? I’m in the area.”

“Now that you mentioned it, yes. I sent out a new kid a few days to clear out a Raffen warehouse, haven’t heard from him since. Should have been an easy job. You get it done first, I’ll pay you.”

“New kid,” V swallowed around a sense of nerves, Johnny appearing beside her, “did you get a name?”

“Randy.”

“Fuck, yeah, send the deets, I’m on my way.”

***

V found a small formation of rock near the warehouse, stretching out on her stomach with the sniper rifle to take a better look.

“There’s your car.”

“Yep,” V slowly searched the windows, “I’ve cleaned this place out before, if they’re alive, they’re in the basement.”

“Is this where we got Saul?”

“Mmhmm,” V started counting under her breath, “at least thirty up top, probably four in the basement, maybe another dozen in the warehouse.”

“You need backup.”

“Don’t have time for backup,” V sighed, “wish I did.”

“Aldecaldos?”

“Make too much noise rolling in. They’ll execute them if they’re still alive.”

“Think they are?”

“Yeah. River’s worth money to the NCPD, on the force or not.”

“What are we going to do?”

V lined up her shot carefully, pulling the trigger.

With the silencer, it was hardly noticeable. A quiet _pop_ as the Raffen guard collapsed in place.

“We’re going to deal with it.”

***

V was _exhausted_ and running out of ammo.

“V, here,” Johnny called over by a collection of barrels, “ammo.”

“Thanks,” V ducked into cover as she reloaded, “I swear they’re breeding more Raffen as I go. I’ve taken out like _forty_.”

V caught sight of the turret nearby, hacking it into friendly mode.

“You’re doing good, kid. You’re pulling them from in the warehouse.”

“Sniper needs to be dealt with,” V glanced over the barrels, ducking back under when the laser brushed past her eye.

“Well, you got double jump and swords for arms. Figure it out.”

***

It had been lucky, all things considered, that V had made it into the basement only being hit once in the shoulder.

Even luckier that it was her left arm.

V snuck into the basement, grateful that the gate was still off the hinges from when she had been here with Saul.

“Two on one,” Johnny whispered, despite them not being able to hear, “how are you going to manage it?”

V took in the room from the shadows. Randy and River had been tied to chairs, River was gagged, Randy wasn’t.

Two guards, both armed, one gun pointed at each of them.

Small room, explosive gas nearby.

V noticed the terminal out of the corner of her eye, “distract one, maybe both, with that. Go from there.”

“Good luck, kid.”

“Don’t need luck,” V pulled out River’s handgun, “I’ve got ammo.”

V moved as close as she could, sending the hack to the terminal and holding her breath.

The computer dinged, sudden and loud in the room. Both guards jumped, turning to face the console.

“Time to move.”

V caught one from behind, painful with her shoulder, but she managed just long enough to take out the other with a well-aimed shot to the head.

Turned out it was pretty hard to break someone’s neck with a bad shoulder, but she managed.

“V,” Randy whispered, “what are you doing here.”

“We’ll deal with that in a second, there could be more left,” V pulled out her mantis blades, cutting Randy’s bindings first before she walked over to River.

“Keep him gagged.”

“Already planning on it,” V cut away the ropes around his wrists and legs.

“How do we get out of here?”

“Here,” V grabbed the gun from one of the guards, “take this.”

River pulled the gag from his mouth, staggering as he stood, “how did you-“

“River, I mean this seriously, _shut the fuck up_ ,” V handed him his gun with more force than needed, pushing him off balance, “you two are going to follow me. You’re going to be fuckin’ _quiet_. We’ll talk once we’re _out_.”

“Got it.”

V called her car to the back of the warehouse, taking out the few leftover Raffen that tried to get into the car as it rolled up.

“Get in the back seat,” V jumped into the driver’s seat, revving the engine, “and hold on.”

V swung the car around, running over the few that stood in her way as she rammed the gate, shattering her windshield but making it through.

“I love this fuckin’ car.”

V fought the urge to roll her eyes at Johnny as she pushed the pedal to the floor, expanding the distance between them and the warehouse. Once she felt like it was safe, she sent the recall for the Hella to follow after them.

“V-“

“River, if you don’t shut the fuck up, I’m going to shoot you.”

“V-“

“Hey,” Randy swatted him on the chest, “shut up.”

“Kid, don’t for one second think you’re out of trouble with me,” V looked in the rearview mirror at Randy.

“Yeah, I know.”

***

Joss ran from the house as she heard the cars pull up, breaking into tears as Randy stepped out of the backseat followed by River.

“You got this.” Johnny appeared beside her.

V took a deep breath before getting out, pulling out a cigarette as she leaned against the car.

“V,” Joss rushed over to her, “how can I thank you?”

“Easy,” V winced as Joss pulled her into a hug, “that hurts.”

“V, you’re bleeding…”

V glanced at her shirt and grimaced. It looked worse than it was, she always bled badly when her arms were shot, but the way her shirt was sticking to her did look bad in the warm light of the sunrise.

“Yeah, happens when you get shot saving a couple of idiots.”

“We need to get you to the hospital.”

“Never been to the hospital when I’ve been shot before,” V glanced over her shoulder at the trailer, “can I use your bathroom, though?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks, Randy, come with me,” V flicked her cigarette, walking toward the trailer, “Joss, keep Dorian and Monique in their rooms, okay?”

“Sure.”

Randy followed obediently, standing just outside the bathroom door as V walked in.

V dropped her jacket to the floor, looking in the mirror at the shot. It was bad, but it hadn’t gone all the way through. Perfect.

V’s shirt came next, leaving her caked in blood wearing nothing but her jeans, boots, and a black sports bra.

“Come here, you’re helping with this.”

“How?”

“I’ll teach you. You want to be a merc? You need to get used to digging bullets out.”

V looked under the sink, pulling out a first aid kit she found there, opening it on the counter, and moving to sit on the toilet.

“Come on, kid. It’s going to heal weird if I don’t get it out. You wanted to play cops and robbers. Here’s your first lesson.”

Randy hesitated but eventually walked in.

“First things first, grab that bottle of alcohol.”

Randy did, holding it up for V.

“Preem, pour a bit over my shoulder.”

It fizzed, and it burned, and when V swore under her breath, Randy went pale.

“Now over your hands.”

Randy’s hands shook as he did it, but he managed.

“Great, well, you don’t have any long tweezers, so you’re going to need to use your fingers. Get the bullet out.”

“What?” Randy looked vaguely grey.

“V, come on.”

“ _Fuck off_ , River,” V leveled him with a glare, “come on, Randy. Don’t want to dig bullets out of your friends?”

“V, I-“

“Takin’ too long, kid,” V poured some of the alcohol over her right hand, pressing her fingers into the hole the bullet had left.

It was grotesque, and the noises that came from her shoulder as she tried to fish the bullet out had River and Randy looking like they were ready to throw up in her lap.

It took a minute, but she eventually got a purchase on the metal and pulled it out. A trickle of blood rolling down her arm as she took Randy’s hand and dropped the bullet into his palm.

“Feel good to hold that?” V asked, “do you feel important now?”

“No…”

“No,” V left her arm bleeding, it was helping her prove her point, “and just imagine next time that bullet is in River’s gut or mine, and you’re in a car speeding away and we zero right next to you. Or you steal some shitty tech and end up dying because of it. Fuck, Randy. I’m dying _right now_ because of this job. I have _weeks_ left if I’m lucky. I won’t be here to pull you out of this shit forever. Is this the sort of life you want? I’ll be dead at _29_ , Randy.”

“I wanted to pay my way,” Randy mumbled, his eyes still on the bullet, “to help.”

“You can help by getting a _real_ job, okay? River has spent his entire life trying to stop people like me cause we _aren’t_ good people. We don’t need more shitheads in NC. Got it?”

“Got it.”

“No more,” V pointed her finger at Randy, “or I’m takin’ that fuckin’ car back.”

“Promise.”

“Shit, kid,” V sagged, the pain starting to set in now that the adrenalin was wearing off, “I couldn’t save my brother, would you at least let me save you?”

“Sorry, V.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Let me wrap that for you,” Joss spoke from behind River.

“Thanks, Joss.”

“V-“

“Go away, River,” V’s voice lacked the heat that she wanted, “for the love of all that is good, just leave me the fuck alone.”

“River,” Joss shot him a look, “go take care of the kids.”

***

“Want to tell me what happened?”

“With?”

“River.”

“He came over, fucked me, and then ghosted me, _again_ ,” V winced as Joss wrapped her shoulder, “sorry I didn’t answer your calls earlier. I just wasn’t sure if I could handle it.”

“It’s okay. I understand.”

“Here I thought we were gettin’ somewhere. I had opened up about my past, he was starting to open up about his.”

“What did he tell you?”

“About your parents,” V closed her eyes and dropped her chin to her chest, “how they died.”

“Really?” Joss tied off the bandage and washed her hands, “don’t think he’s ever told anyone about that.”

“Well,” V sighed, “for what good it did me. He hasn’t spoken to me since. He left the apartment in the middle of the night and I haven’t heard from him since.”

“He’s not been himself,” Joss leaned against the wall, “barely said a word for the past week.”

“You’ll forgive me if I can’t bring myself to feel bad.”

“I don’t expect you to,” Joss picked up V’s ruined shirt, “River was never the same after that night, he’s run from every emotion he’s ever felt since. I think you’ve thrown him for a loop, you know, that not all people who live….like you do…are bad. I don’t think he knows how to reconcile the idea in his mind.”

“Not by ghosting me, that’s for sure.”

“No, not by ghosting you,” Joss pat her good shoulder, “for what it’s worth, V. I think he loves you. I just think he doesn’t love himself.”

“Maybe,” V agreed, “wouldn’t happen to have a shirt I could borrow?”

“Sure.”

***

“V!”

“Hey, guys,” V dropped on one knee to give Dorian and Monique a hug, “how’s it going?”

“We missed you!”

“Yeah, it’s been like a _year_.”

“Not a year,” V chuckled, “a week.”

“Are you spending the day with us?”

“Not today,” V stood, headed toward the back door, “I’ve got to delta, shit to do.”

“We miss you, V, come play with us soon?”

“I’ll try,” V promised, “go eat breakfast, okay? I need to talk to Randy.”

“Bye, V!”

“Bye.”

Randy and River were outside, keeping their voices low as they spoke.

“V, okay?”

“Yeah, your mom patched me up. I’ll go see my Ripper and make sure the cybernetics are still working.”

“Uh, thanks,” Randy smiled sheepishly, “for coming.”

“For as long as I’m breathing, I’ll come. Just _please_ stop doing stupid shit, okay?”

“Okay,” Randy pulled the bullet from his pocket, “want this as a memento?”

“Already got one,” V pulled her necklace from under her shirt, “from when I got shot on the head and _died_. You keep that one, use it as a reminder next time Dakota calls you, okay?”

“Yeah, I will. Thanks, V. You stickin’ around?”

“Hell no,” V lit a cigarette, “no offense.”

“None taken.”

“See you, V.”

“Later, kiddo.”

“V, wait.”

“Want me to take over?” Johnny offered, “I can tell him to fuck off better than you can.”

“Not unless I say he can come home with me,” V answered Johnny before she turned back to River, “what?”

“Can we talk?”

“I’ve got nothing to say to you,” V continued on the way to her car, River jogging to keep up.

“Look, I’m sorry-“

“Here it comes again,” V said out loud and to Johnny, “where the cop pretends that it was all a misunderstanding and that he isn’t an emotionally constipated piece of shit that fucks with my head for fun.”

“V-“

“River, stop, okay? Just stop,” V opened the door to her car, “you’re a coward, and you’re a liar. We both know it. Stop wasting both of our time.”

“A coward, sure, but not a liar.”

“You told me that you loved me,” V glared at him, “you looked me in the _eye_ and told me that you loved me.”

“I do love you.”

“I don’t believe you,” V fought the urge to cry, “and if this is how you treat the people you love, I don’t want it.”

V got in the car, pulling out of the trailer park and back onto the road. She made it all the way to the Sunrise Motel before she started to cry.

“V?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, Johnny.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be from River's point of view - for now, enjoy V being a sweetheart with the kids.

“Randy?”

“Hey, V,” Randy sounded delighted to hear from her and V smiled, “what’s up?”

“Get dressed, I’m heading over.”

“You’re heading over? Not that I’m not happy to hang out with you, but why?”

“You have a job interview, I’ll be there in ten.”

V disconnected the call, smiling at Johnny in the passenger seat.

“You’re the sister he needs,” Johnny smiled back, “he’s lucky to have you.”

“And I’m lucky to have _you_ , choom.”

“Don’t be gross, V.”

V could admit that she had taken some time to dress up before she returned to the trailer park, brushing her hair until it was shiny and putting it up in a slick ponytail, doing her make up, and wearing clothes that showed off her best assets.

She looked dangerous but put together.

“River’s gonna shit when he sees you.”

“That was the plan,” V winked at Johnny, “show him what he’s missing. What do they say? The best revenge is living well?”

“You were sobbing into your pillow last night.”

“Yeah, but _he_ doesn’t know that. Only you do.”

“What if I tell him?”

“How you going to do that, Johnny?”

“I’m not,” Johnny shrugged, “just bein’ an asshole. I like the revenge part of heartbreak. Nothing sexier than a woman looking hot out of spite. If I was in the flesh I’d be all over you.”

“If you were in the flesh I would absolutely come to you for an _I got my heartbroken_ pity fuck.”

“Couse you would, I’m amazing.”

“Let’s not push it.”

“V,” Johnny placed his hand over his heat, “you wound me.”

***

The whole family was waiting when V rolled in. River standing by the door with his arms crossed.

“He’s _grumpy,_ ” Johnny mocked, “his sexy girlfriend just showed up and not for him.”

“I’m not his girlfriend.”

“Another reason to be grumpy.”

“You have a Jefferson?” Randy walked over to the car with Joss. Monique and Dorian rushing over to them as River moved closer but kept his distance.

“I have a Jefferson,” V confirmed, “if I had known I was going to be driving through a gate the other day I would have brought this instead. It has better armor. The Caliburn is still in the shop getting the windshield done.”

“V!”

“Hey, buddy,” V pulled her gun from her hip, setting it on the hood of the car before she picked up Monique and stuck her on her hip, “how’s it going?”

“I missed you!”

V pat Monique’s back, “missed you too. Dorian, how are you?”

“Good,” Dorian bounced in place, “can you play with me and River?”

“Not right now, I’m here to pick up Randy for a trip into NC.”

“Why does Randy get to go into NC?” Dorian complained, “I want to go.”

“Because he has a job interview, and I need to make introductions. Tell you what, if I’m still…around…in a month or so I’ll take you into the city for lunch and a movie, deal?”

“Deal.”

“Great,” V set Monique down, “ready to go, Randy?”

“Yeah,” Randy waved at the car, “am I coming with you?”

“Yep,” V holstered her gun again, “get in. Joss, do you mind if we’re like three or four hours?”

“Not at all,” Joss smiled, “just keep me posted.”

“I will,” V promised, “he’s safe with me.”

“I don’t doubt it.”

“V?”

V glanced at River, “yeah?”

“It’s nice to see you.”

“Uh-huh,” V opened the door slipping inside, “I mean no offense from this, Randy, but your uncle is an fuckin’ idiot.”

“Trust me,” Randy laughed, “we know.”

***

“Almost there.”

“Where is _there_ exactly?”

“John’s Auto,” V pulled into the parking lot, “he fixes all of my cars. I mentioned I knew someone who loves cars and needs a teacher and a job. He agreed to meet with you.”

“I have no idea how to even do a job interview.”

“It’s not a corpo interview, you’ll mostly be shooting the shit. Also, and just so you know, I told him you were getting over a _medical event_. I didn’t tell him what that was, but he’ll get it if you need to sit for a bit or whatever.”

“Thanks, V.”

“No problem,” V opened her door, “come on, let me introduce you to John.”

***

“And this is where we keep the cars that are waiting for pick up. V, your windshield should be in this week.”

“No rush,” V looked over the cars, “looks like River’s truck.”

“It is,” John pat the hood of the truck as they walked past it, “he’s tryin’ to scratch up the eddies for it. I hope he does soon, it takes up a shit ton of space.”

“Do it.”

V glanced up at Johnny’s voice and found him sitting on River’s truck, “what?”

“Pay for the repair. I felt the thought cross your mind. Kill the prick with kindness.”

“Nah.”

“V, come on. You’re the type to give every drop of blood for your friends. Don’t let the pig change you.”

“He’s not a friend.”

“You’re in love with the guy, pay for his fuckin’ truck. Make him wish that he still had you.”

“I’ll think about it.”

***

“So,” John set his massive hands on the counter at the front of the shop, “when can you start?”

“Uh, tomorrow?”

“Perfect. Be here at eleven. You got a ride?”

“He’s got my old Hella,” V leaned on the counter, “so long as he behaves.”

“Good car, reliable.”

“Hey, John, how much is owed on River’s truck?”

“Needed a lot of work,” John checked his computer, “new transmission, breaks, the works.”

“Didn’t ask what you did to it, I asked what it cost.”

“7000 eddies.”

“Shit,” Randy frowned, “it’ll take him forever to come up with that.”

V sent the transfer, “give Randy the key, they live together, he can take it back.”

“Much obliged,” John slid the key across the counter, “see you tomorrow, Randy.”

“Come on, kid. I’m going to take you into the city. We need to celebrate you getting your first job.”

***

“Why did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Pay for River’s truck when you’re mad at him.”

“Ah,” V stole one of Randy’s fries, “kinda chick I am, I guess.”

“He’s such a gonk,” Randy sighed, “he doesn’t stop talking about you, but he can’t seem to figure out the whole _relationship_ thing. I did better with Natalie.”

“You two talking again?”

“Sort of,” Randy shrugged, “trying.”

“Keep trying,” V prompted, “it’s worth it.”

“You know,” Johnny appeared beside her in the booth, “good guitar shop near here if you wanted to get him something to remember the day.”

“You want me to get him a guitar,” V fought the urge to smile, “or you want to play guitars?”

“Why not both?”

***

“Wow,” Randy’s mouth dropped open as they walked into the store, “never seen this many guitars before.”

“Hasn’t changed much since I shopped here,” Johnny looked around.

“You know,” V followed Randy as he walked around, “Silverhand used to shop here.”

“Really? Wow.”

“See, V? _Wow_. This kid gets it.”

“So what do we get him?” V shot back, “I can’t carry a tune in a bucket.”

“Back wall,” Johnny pointed, “some decent mid-range guitars. Nothing to write home about, but an upgrade from that piece of firewood in his trailer.”

“Come check these out,” V waved for Randy to follow her, “I don’t know anything about them, tell me what you think.”

***

“Wow,” Randy had been admiring the guitar in his hands for nearly an hour as V watched, “this is amazing.”

“Decent, fits him well,” Johnny commented, “he would need a strap, small amp, spare set of strings.”

“Worth it?”

“I’d say so.”

“I’ll be back,” V pat Randy on the shoulder, “nature calls.”

“Uh, sure.”

“You okay?”

“Bit nervous to be in the city without you, is all.”

“I promise, five seconds, be right back. Scream if you need me.”

“Will do.”

V found a salesperson easy enough, giving her the list that Johnny rattled off in her ear.

“Can you put it all in a bag or something? It’s a surprise for the kiddo.”

“Sure.”

“Preem, I’ll be right back.”

V wandered back to Randy, smiling as she found him so engrossed in the guitar that he didn’t notice her return.

“Kiddo, we should head back. We’ve been here for over an hour.”

“Too bad,” Randy stood, “fun while it lasted.”

“Good, 'cause it’s yours,” V nodded toward the door, “congratulations on your first job. Come on, let’s load it in the car.”

“Seriously?”

“Mmhmm.”

“V,” Randy stopped her, “I can’t accept all of this. The car, the job, you literally _saving me_. Twice.”

“Look,” V sighed, “I love you like a brother, okay? I like doing these things for you. Just accept it and promise me in five years when you have your own shop you’ll fix my cars for free.”

Randy hesitated, torn between the manners he had been raised with and the guitar in his hand.

“Promise.”

***

“You’re coming back to the house, right?”

“Uh, no,” V leaned against her car, “why?”

“Come on, you’ve got to be there when I tell the others. It’s all your doing, anyway.”

“I don’t want to see your uncle.”

“V,” Randy pleased, “please?”

“Fuck, fine, but if River starts acting weird I’m leaving.”

“Great, now, can you drive his truck? He doesn’t let me drive his cars.”

“Oh, I see,” V rolled her eyes, “nothing to do with you wanting to drive a fully armored car, right?”

“Not at all.”

V held up her key, taking River’s from Randy before she shoved his shoulder, “punk.”

***

“Something tells me that the kid is trying to get you two back together.”

“Something tells me that you’re probably right.”

“Pig has a decent car at least. Is that your earring?”

“Hm?” V looked up and found the small silver _V_ earring that had been pushed into the fabric of the interior of the car, “uh, yeah it sure is. Weird, I don’t even remember losing it.”

“Must have dropped in the truck.”

“Yeah, maybe, but why didn’t he give it back?”

“I used to keep one of Alt’s earrings too, in my guitar strap.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Johnny looked out the window, “that’s something.”

“Sure is.”

***

V pulled into River’s usual parking space just ahead of Randy, glancing up at the earring before she got out.

“Not going to take it?”

“No,” V answered Johnny, “why should I?”

“Don’t want it back?”

“No.”

“Mmhmm,” Johnny lit a cigarette, “you two are both fucked in the head.”

“Not news to me, buddy.”

“Why is my truck here?”

V turned at River’s voice, holding out the key to him, “I sprung it from John’s for you.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m a nice person,” V rolled her eyes, “just take the fuckin’ key, River.”

“V, I can’t afford to pay you back.”

“River, I’m going to be dead in like two weeks. I’m not worried about it.”

“I miss you.”

“Take the key.”

“V, I mean it.”

“I don’t care if you mean it,” V grabbed River by the belt and pulled him closer, tucking the key in his pocket, “I missed you when I helped you save Randy and you didn’t message me. I missed you when I came over for dinner, and you didn’t call me. I missed you when I woke up naked and _alone_ in my bed. I’m done missing you, River. You only got a chance with me again because Johnny told me I should give you a chance. If you think I’m spending the last few weeks of my life waiting for you to decide if you’re in or out, you’re sadly mistaken.”

“River!” Randy shouted as he pulled up, “I got a job!”

“A job?”

“V helped me,” Randy walked over, and V took a step back from River, “I’m going to be fixing cars starting tomorrow. Come on, I want to tell mom.”

“Sure, let’s go tell her. Coming, V?”

“Only reason I’m here,” V wrapped her arm around Randy’s shoulder, “he asked me to come. Don’t forget the guitar in my car, Randy.”

“I’m going to bring it in, show her.”

“Let’s go.”

***

V accepted the beer from Joss, watching quietly as Randy _gushed_ about the day.

“Then she took me for lunch at… Tom’s Diner?”

“That’s right.”

“And _then_ we went to this guitar shop,” Randy let out a low whistle, “packed and I mean _packed_ with guitars. Johnny Silverhand used to shop there, can you believe it?”

“V would know,” River took a sip of his drink, “she’s the expert on all things Johnny Silverhand.”

“Then she bought me this,” Randy held up the guitar, “to celebrate getting my first job.”

“Sounds like you had a hell of a day,” Joss smiled, “V, our family owes you so much.”

“Nah, watching Randy this excited makes it worth every eddy.”

“So when did you spring the truck?”

“After Randy’s interview, when John mentioned it was in the way.”

“You paid for River’s truck?”

V shrugged, “John needed the room.”

“Damn, V, you’ve got a heart of gold.”

“She’s got that straight,” Johnny appeared beside River, “you should check this out, V. He’s got a vein that’s going to pop right beside his ear.”

“I do what I can.”

“Why us?”

V glanced at River, “I’m sorry?”

“Why us,” River waved at the family.

“Because,” V started slowly, “you trusted me enough to tell me that you needed help. Your family doesn’t feel all that different than mine did. My brother and sisters were struggling, I was fighting to pay for food, we lived on the streets. I’ve been where you guys are. You asked me for help, and I knew how. I’ll be dead in a few weeks, but you guys are now on track to sort shit out. Joss is working, Randy’s working, drugs are on their way out. It’s my way of leaving the world a little bit brighter.”

“You’re like for real dying? That’s not just a metaphor for how dangerous your work is?”

“I am _for real_ dying,” V confirmed, “I’ve got a chip in my head that’s displacing my neural network.”

“Are you scared?”

“Randy-“

“No, it’s fine,” V waved off Joss, “yeah, I’m a bit spooked. The chip comes with some…attachments…that help. I’ve died before though, when I got shot, so I sort of know what I’m in for.”

“What was it like?”

“Quiet, quick. I got shot in the head, doesn’t leave a lot of time for second thoughts. I remember looking up at DeShawn, realizing what he was going to do and then nothing.”

“Damn.”

“Still want to be a merc?”

“Think I’ll stick with a mechanic.”

“Good plan. Or you could be a cop, like River.”

“Don’t,” River shook his head, “it’s not worth all the issues.”

***

“I love you guys, honestly,” V struggled to extract herself from Dorian and Monique, “I’ve got to go.”

“That’s not fair, we didn’t know you were back,” Monique complained, “we were playing the game, you could have played with us.”

“Next time, I promise.”

“ _V…_ ”

“ _Dorian,_ ” V parroted, “I need to go, I have to work.”

“No,” Monique wrapped her arms around V’s neck, “you can’t go.”

“Come on,” River grabbed Monique around the middle, pulling her from V, “she’s a busy lady.”

“River,” Dorian tugged on River’s arm, “can you get our ball from the roof?”

“Again?” River sighed, “I need to get the ladder.”

“Don’t bother, I’ll grab it,” V pulled a cigarette from her pack, “later, Randy. Let me know how your first day goes.”

“I will, thanks, V.”

“See you, V,” Joss called from the front of the house, “don’t be a stranger.”

“I won’t,” V called back, lighting the cigarette as she stepped outside, “right, where is this ball?”

“Right there,” Dorian pointed.

“Got it,” V took a few steps back and jumped, landing on the roof with a thud.

“Wow,” Monique stared in wonder, “how did you do that?”

“I’ve got robot legs,” V grabbed the ball and tossed it to River, jumping down, “now I got to go.”

“Thanks, V.”

“Why don’t you guys go put that away,” River set Monique down, “give me a second with V, okay?”

“Shit.”

“Let’s see what he has to say,” Johnny walked with V toward the car.

“Look,” River sighed, “I know you’re done with me.”

“Yep.”

“I still wanted to apologize.”

“Noted.”

“V, _fuck_ , would you listen to me, _please_.”

“Listen to you say what? _Sorry, I abandoned you, again_ , or are you going to change your script? Your actions speak louder than your words, River. I’ve been fucked in a _meth house_ , and the output stayed the night.”

“You don’t know what it’s like,” River was fighting to keep his voice level, V caught how it trembled, “the NCPD teaches us to _not_ share the worst parts of ourselves. I’m not used to this…”

“Honesty?” V shrugged, “it’s not my problem, River. I’ve always been truthful about where I’ve been. You kissed my track marks and told me you loved me less than four hours before you abandoned me. Seems to me that these are _your_ issues, not mine. Talk to someone, figure it out, but I’m not letting you trample all over me while you do it.”

“Will you give me another chance?”

V laughed, “absolutely not.”

“Can we be friends, at least?”

“Maybe, eventually. But not right now.”

River deflated, his impressive stature shrinking in on itself.

“Don’t be mean, V. You can at least pretend for the last few weeks.”

“Why should I?”

“Cause I think this gonk _actually_ loves you.”

V glanced at River, the way his shoulders had fallen, his downtrodden expression.

“Need a hug?”

“What?”

“Do you need a hug?” V repeated, holding out her arms.

River took a tentative step forward, then another, before wrapping his arms around her.

“Look,” V spoke softly, “I care about you. I do. I just can’t keep playing this game. I’ve got enough going on.”

“I love you, V,” River said with such conviction she almost let herself believe it, “I’ll work on it. I promise.”

“Okay,” V stepped back, “make sure Randy isn’t late for work tomorrow, he starts at eleven.”

“Eleven, okay.”

“Your truck is fixed, drives beautifully.”

“Thank you.”

“And you owe me an earring.”

River blushed, “want mine?”

“You know what, yeah, I do.”

River was surprised, it was obvious from his expression, but he reached up and pulled his earring from his ear and handed it to V.

V found the hole that her old earring had occupied, easily slipping River’s earring on, “there. Now we’re even.”

“Can I call you, sometime?”

“Let me think about it.”

“Okay,” River smiled weakly, “goodnight, V.”

“Night, River.”

V got in her car, turning from the trailer park before she gave into the nearly overwhelming urge to spend the night with River.

“Wish I had a guitar right now.”

“Why?”

“I have like _six_ ideas for songs about you two idiots.”

“So what do you suggest I do, Uncle Johnny?”

“Gross,” Johnny shuddered, “I think you give it a day, maybe two, and let him call you.”

“Why?”

“Cause,” Johnny lit a cigarette, “you’ll regret it if you don’t.”

“Yeah,” V agreed as she drove toward the city, “you’re right.”

“Course I’m right,” Johnny rolled his eyes, “I’m Johnny Silverhand.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder - this is in River's POV - enjoy!
> 
> Thank you for all the comments. Love waking up to them each morning.

“Still awake?”

River glanced over his shoulder as Joss spoke from behind him, “yeah.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“River,” Joss sat beside him, feet dangling over the edge of the water tower, “you know I love you, but why are you hiding up here on the tower instead of in the city trying to win her back?”

“Pretty clear that she’s done with me.”

“No, she’s not, you idiot,” Joss rolled her eyes, “she just spent how much time with us? She paid how much for your truck? If she was _done,_ she wouldn’t have stuck around today. She wanted to see you.”

“Don’t know why.”

“Me either, because you treat her like garbage. If you were anyone but my brother I’d tell her to run as far away from you as she could.”

River winced, “probably solid advice.”

“Let me give you some more while I’m here.”

“Not like I have a choice, right?”

“I could push you off the tower if you prefer?”

“I’m listening.”

“You don’t have to be perfect, River. V doesn’t expect it. She’s not going to think any less of you if you show her some of the cracks in your armor.”

“Maybe.”

“And she doesn’t think any less of you because of what happened with mom and dad.”

River swallowed heavily, “do you?”

“Do I?”

“Think less of me?”

“You were a child, River. No, of course I don’t. But…”

“But?”

“What you’re doing to V, the way you’re treating her? That’s a side of you that I don’t like.”

“I don’t much, either.”

“So why are you doing it?”

“It’s hard to explain.”

“Try me,” Joss pulled out a cigarette.

“Would be easier if you were a cop,” River sighed, “had some insight into what it’s like on the force.”

“So why don’t you find a cop to talk to? Don’t you have any friends with the NCPD?”

“I think most of them have been told not to talk to me.”

“Most, not all,” Joss pat his back, “River, you’re going to lose the best thing that ever happened to you. I can tell you care about her, and V’s going through some scary stuff right now. She could use a friend.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“I know I’m right,” Joss rolled her eyes, “idiot.”

“I think I’m going to go for a drive,” River stood.

“Where?”

“Chubby Buffalo.”

“You’re hungry this late?”

“No,” River shook his head, “but that’s where the cops go to eat.”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks, I’m going to need it.”

***

The parking lot was full as River pulled in, but thankfully his normal booth was open when he walked in.

“Detective Ward.”

“Former Detective,” one of the cops at the bar corrected.

River winced, “can I have a coffee?”

“Of course,” the waitress pat his shoulder sympathetically, shooting a glare to the officer who had called out.

“Detective Ward?”

River glanced up, “Officer Lewis, it’s nice to see you.”

“Just Barry Lewis now,” Barry pointed to the seat across from him, “can I join you?”

“So long as you just call me River, sure.”

“So,” Barry sat, “former Detective?”

“Suspended, for kicking up dirt,” River frowned, “been rough.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“Why would you talk to me?” River asked before he could stop himself, “think we worked together like three times in the past five years.”

“Because I’ve been adjusting to life outside of the force, too, and I had a friend show me recently how important it is to talk things out,” Barry chuckled, “don’t really think I’d still be around if I hadn’t met her if I’m honest. I recognize the look on your face.”

“What look is that?”

“The one a man gets when they realize the force that they depended on lied to them.”

River winced, “you might be right.”

“I know,” Barry smiled at the waitress as she set a coffee in front of River, “what’s the dessert special of the day?”

“Cherry pie.”

“Can we have two slices, please?”

“Sure thing.”

“Alright, River. Spill.”

***

“I always thought that the NCPD stood for what is _good_ , you know?” River finished his coffee, “then they cover up the Mayor’s murder, they protect assholes that kill kids. Meanwhile, I meet this girl and she’s just _unbelievable_. Then I find out that she’s an ex-addict, she’s a gun for hire…”

“All the things that we’re taught are bad,” Barry nodded, “but…”

“But she’s made more difference in NC in a week than the NCPD has bad in twenty years. You know she helped me solve a fuckin’ serial murder case, and she didn’t even get _paid_? My nephew got himself in some trouble last week, I tried to save him and when I couldn’t she came in, _solo_ , and got us both out. Mowed through thirty fuckin’ people to do it, Barry.”

“So if she can do all this as one person…”

“Exactly,” River wiped a hand over his face, “if she can solve a murder, save me and the kid from Raffen, find the money to keep a family of five that _isn’t even her family_ fed, all after raising three siblings and kicking a drug problem.”

“What else is NCPD lying to us about? Yeah. I get it,” Barry pat his hand on the table, “sounds like you’ve got a hell of a lady there.”

“Did, I managed to fuck that up, too. Every time I let my guard down around her, I feel like I need to hide. I tell her something about me and this…”

“Anxiety?”

“Yeah, just washes over me,” River frowned, “I told her about some shit that happened when I was a kid and spent the rest of the night next to her just waiting for her to wake up and tell me that she didn’t want to see me again. Within an hour I was so frantic I snuck out of her place. I’ve finally found the only good thing in NC, I couldn’t stand her looking at me and seeing me as a failure.

“I imagine that she felt the same way, though,” Barry suggested, “when she told you about the drugs. Imagine tellin’ a _cop_ that you used to use black lace? Bet she was scared shitless.”

River hadn’t considered that, “maybe.”

“What you’ve got here is a failure in communication,” Barry tapped the table, “she’s probably thinking that you don’t like her because of her past, meanwhile…”

“I’m thinkin’ the same thing,” River groaned, “how do I fix this?”

“Talk to her, be honest. Not sure about your lady, River, but my friend would be open, so I’m sure your girlfriend will be, too.”

“Not sure how I can face her again. Not after I ran out on her.”

“You saw her today, right?”

“Yeah, it was hard though.”

“Sure it was, but losing her will be harder. Give her a call, tell her that you want to talk. Tell her everything you just told me. I’m sure it’ll be okay.”

“Thanks, Barry,” River managed a smile, “I’ve been thinking of going into private practice. Clearing up the cases the NCPD won’t touch. Looking for work?”

“Sure, got nothin’ else to do,” Barry shrugged, “call your girl, first.”

“Don’t worry, I will.”

“As my friend V says, _it’s time to stop living in the past_.”

“Wait, did you say V?”

“Mmhmm, she’s a local merc in the city. Lives above me.”

“No shit,” River laughed, “she is, or _was_ my girlfriend.”

“Hold up,” Barry laughed too, “you’re telling me that you spilled your heart out to _V_ of all people and you’re worried about her judging you? Shit, River, V’s the best thing NC’s got. When I went through my bad patch I wasn’t even cleaning the apartment. She came, gave me a pep talk, next day she rolled up with a garbage bag and cleaning shit. She cleaned my entire pad while I sat like a gonk on my bed. She shoved me into the shower, took me out for lunch. Fuck, bud, I don’t know what you told her, but she doesn’t judge you for it. I promise.”

“Hey, uh,” River cleared his throat, “thanks for talkin’ with me, Barry. I appreciate it.”

“Any time,” Barry’s eyes lit up, “sent you my number. Call me if you need to talk. Work, personal. Whatever. No one should be alone in this city. Now, go call V.”

River lifted his hand to call the waitress over, but Barry caught it.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s on me. Go, get in your truck, and call V.”

“It’s like 4 AM.”

“Yeah, but I live under her, right? She’s probably still awake knowing her. Merc’s work weird hours.”

“Alright, I’m going.”

“Knock em’ dead, River.”

***

River couldn’t bring himself to pick up the phone immediately, driving around the city for an hour before he pulled over and dialed out.

“V.”

“Uh,” River swallowed around his heart pounding in his chest, “hey, it’s me.”

“Randy okay?”

River closed his eyes, resting his forehead against the window of his truck. He missed her voice and she had only been gone a few hours, “yeah, Randy’s fine.”

There was a pause, “are _you_ okay?”

“Not really,” River decided to be honest, “just had coffee with Barry Lewis.”

“My neighbour?”

“One and the same. He speaks highly of you.”

“Course he does, I cleaned his place once.”

“So he said,” River found himself at a loss for words.

“River, what’s going on?”

“I’m such a fuck up,” River winced, “I just wanted to talk to you. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

V sighed, “River…”

“I know,” River fought to keep himself calm, “I’m a piece of shit, you’re done with me. I don’t blame you. I understand. I just wanted you to know that I really _do_ love you, even if I’m fuckin’ trash at showing it.”

“River-“

“And I wanted you to know that I’ve never judged you, for the drugs or any of it, and I’m sorry if it seems that I did.”

“Ri-“

“And I think you’re the best thing in NC, and that you make a real difference doing what you do.”

“ _River_ ,” V’s voice was sharp through the phone, “shut up a minute, will you?”

“Sorry.”

“I don’t want to talk about this on the holo. You want to have an emotional breakthrough, at least come over, okay? Bring coffee. I’m exhausted.”

“Wait, you’ll meet with me?”

“No,” V deadpanned, “it’s a prank. You’re going to drive over to my place but I’m not here. Best joke I’ve told all year.”

“You said you were done with me.”

“I lied. Come over if you want to talk, River. I’ll be here.”

“Alright, I’m coming. Probably only ten minutes away. I’m in the city.”

“In that case, stop by Tom’s and pick-up breakfast. If I don’t see coffee in your hand, I’m not opening the door.”

“Deal.”

***

“Ward,” Tom greeted him with suspicion, “what can I do for you?”

“Picking up breakfast for V and I. Don’t suppose you know what she normally orders?”

“Of course I do,” Tom looked offended, “what are you having?”

“Just make it two of whatever V gets, and lots of coffee. She’s not going to open the door if I don’t bring coffee.”

Tom pointed to one of the seats, “park it, I’ll bring it over when it’s ready.”

***

River stood outside V’s apartment with more anxiety than he could ever remember having. He couldn’t remember being this nervous during the worst cases he had on the force.

Taking a deep breath he pressed the call button.

“Hey,” V greeted as the door slid open, “you got the stuff?”

River held up the extra-large coffee, “stuff acquired.”

“Okay,” V took the cup from his hand, “you can come in.”

River followed her inside, forcing his eyes away from her bed to try and avoid any memories it might bring up.

“I hope I didn’t wake you up when I called.”

“I wasn’t asleep yet, just getting ready for bed,” V waved at her clothes, the baggy tank top, and shorts, “so sorry for the lack of makeup.”

“You’re beautiful without it,” River sat near her on the couch, setting the food on the coffee table, “thanks for letting me come over.”

“You sounded a little frantic,” V opened her coffee and took a sip, “what’s going on?”

“First,” River cleared his throat, “I need to apologize, properly, for leaving.”

“For leaving _again_ ,” V corrected.

“Yeah,” River opened his coffee, “again.”

“Well, you wanted to talk,” V prompted, “talk.”

“I don’t know where to start.”

“The beginning,” V smiled, nudging his knee with her foot, “take off your jacket, let’s get breakfast on the table. We have time, we can talk as we go.”

River was grateful for the instruction, standing to pull off his coat and take the food out of the bags.

“Well, first, I want to say that I meant what I said on the phone, I don’t judge you for your past,” River handed V one of the containers, “none of it. I might have been a bit shocked, sure, but I don’t think any less of you for it. It was just surprising.”

“I hear that a lot.”

“The thing is, meeting you has brought my entire life into question. You’re a villain, a bad guy, according to everything that the NCPD teaches us.”

“Hear that a lot, too,” V opened the container, grabbing a piece of bacon from inside.

“But here you come and you’re just…” River tried to find the word, “perfect.”

“Nope, absolutely not.”

“You’re a damn hero, V. You didn’t need to help me with Randy. I called asking for help and you came running. You don’t need to _keep_ helping us with Randy, but that kid is _finally_ on the right path thanks to you.”

V studied him but didn’t interrupt.

“So now I need to figure out how for _years_ of my life I’ve been told, and felt, that you were the problem. A cancer in the city, but you’re nothing like that. Not really. Not only that but I listen to you talk about the NCPD, how they treated you, the lack of help, mix that in with what happened with the Mayor, my suspension…”

“Harsh wake-up call?”

River shook his head, “suddenly I’m wondering if _I’m_ the bad guy. The very thing I wanted to protect NC from. Then I think back to what happened with my parents, my mom…and I can’t find one damn example of me being the person I wanted to be growing up. I was so blind to the idea that maybe the NCPD was wrong, I don’t even know how to process it.”

“I can understand it being shocking,” V sympathized, “but why do you keep leaving?”

“I feel like I don’t deserve you,” River sighed, “after I told you about my mom… I curled up around you and watched you sleep in my arms thinking I haven’t done _one_ damn thing to deserve a woman like you. It’s all well and good that I’ve preached the idea of fixing NC for years, but you’re the one actually doing it. I was terrified, honestly terrified, that you were going to wake up that morning, look me in the face, and tell me that you were ashamed to even know me. I couldn’t face it, V.”

“Eat,” V pointed to the food in front of River, “let me think about what you said for a minute.”

River wondered if she was talking with Johnny, a silent communication that he wasn’t a part of. He busied himself with eating while he waited.

“We have a lot to unpack there, River,” V spoke after a minute had passed.

“Want me to go?”

“I didn’t say leave, I said there was a lot to talk about,” V reached over into his container, stealing a piece of bacon, “why don’t you message Joss, let her know where you are, we’ll finish breakfast and talk, okay?”

“Sure, thanks, V.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're back to V - 
> 
> With some detailed sexy-time, as requested.

“This is honestly some of the most disgusting coffee I’ve ever had.”

V laughed, “Tom is very good at bacon, but not much else.”

“You sure this isn’t gas?”

“Nope,” V finished her cup, “but it keeps me going.”

“Braver than I am.”

“Alright,” V set her container aside, and her empty cup, “let me try and break this down for you.”

“Go ahead.”

“One, I’m not a hero, and no, you’re not the bad guy,” V turned to better face him, tucking her feet under her, “we grew up in _vastly_ different ways, River. You were in the system, I wasn’t. I’ve learned to survive, and to do that, _for me,_ means that I needed to take out the bad people who were trying to fuck with me. If that made life easier for some of the other people in NC, that’s great, but don’t get it twisted, I was looking out for my sisters, my brother, not for anyone else.”

River nodded, waiting for her to continue.

“I don’t think you’re bad because you wanted to be a cop, and I don’t think you were a bad cop, either. Not all NCPD are bad, just enough of them that they can’t make a real difference. I’ve told you before, though, that you need to stop looking at everything as _good_ or _bad_. There is no such thing as a person who is entirely good, or entirely bad. The worst people in this city still have a family that loves them, the best still have drug issues. Shades of grey, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“There is also nothing saying that who you are _now_ needs to be the person that you stay, right? You can still change NC, River. You just won’t be NCPD while you do it.”

“Makes more sense now,” River’s hands flexed in his lap.

“He’s dying to touch you,” Johnny commented from beside her.

“Come here,” V pat her lap, “head in my lap.”

“That’s direct.”

“Not what I meant,” V reached for him, pulling him so he was stretched out on his back, his head in her lap looking up at her, “pervert.”

River smiled, and V brought her thumb to trace the curve of his lip.

“For the record, River. I don’t judge you for what happened to your mom. I don’t think that any kid I know would know how to get out of that situation. Only thing I was planning for the next morning was round two.”

“I’m sorry for dragging you through this,” River took her hand, kissing her palm, “I feel terrible.”

“It’s okay.”

“What now?”

“I’m not sure,” V answered honestly, tracing the scars around his eye.

“Now you tell him you love him, and you live happily ever after.”

“What do you want to do?”

“In my dreams? We’d go back to the beginning. We’d start fresh. I wouldn’t be dying and we would have the time to build something beautiful.”

“I love you, V. I want to spend whatever time you have left together. If you’ll have me.”

“V, come on. You’re telling me you’re going to say no to that?”

“What would you do?”

“Go for it,” Johnny pointed to River, “that is a man who realizes that he’s in the presence of the woman that’s going to change his life. He’s not going to fuck up again.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, I think. Now, take your meds, and kiss and make-up.”

“You know, it’s kind of weird that you just go quiet when you’re talking to Johnny.”

“What’s weirder is that he’s sitting beside me and you can’t see him. I used to talk out loud to him, but I got weird looks.”

“No shit.”

“Shut up,” V rolled her eyes, “not like I can help it.”

“Well, what does Johnny have to say about it?”

“Quote me,” Johnny leaned over River’s face, “congratulations, pig, you just figured out that NC is corrupt. Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.”

V repeated Johnny’s words exactly, rolling her eyes, “anything else?”

“Don’t fuck with V again. This is the last time I’m going to defend you. Next time, I’m going to zero you.”

“Noted.”

“You got anywhere to be today?”

“No.”

“Well sounds like a perfect time for a nap,” V gestured to the bed, “want to join me?”

“Sure.”

***

“I love you.”

“Yeah?” V fought the urge to purr as he ran his fingers through her hair.

“Yeah,” River kissed her forehead.

“Did you still want to be my boyfriend?”

“If you’ll have me.”

“Two conditions.”

“Name them.”

“One,” V kissed River’s chest, “next time you panic, and those feelings her to be too much, you need to talk to me before you run.”

“Deal.”

“Two. If you say you’re going to call me, you better fuckin’ call me.”

“Promise.”

“I lied, I have one more.”

“Alright.”

“You have to kiss me, right now, and show me how much you want me.”

River rolled her onto her back, immediately bringing their lips together.

V could feel his desperation, it was obvious in the way his slips slotted against hers, his grip on her hip, the moan that ripped from his chest as they kissed.

“I missed you,” River whispered against her neck, “ _fuck_ , V. I need you.”

“Show me.”

“Can I make love to you?”

“If you’ll stay, after.”

“Promise.”

V giggled as River growled against her neck, pinning her to the bed, “easy, tiger.”

“Why do you have so many clothes on?”

“I don’t,” V helped River pull her shirt off, laughing again as River immediately went for her breasts as they came into view.

“You’re so beautiful,” River took one of her nipples into his mouth, teasing it into a tight peak with his tongue.

V held his head in place, forcing the lingering nerves in her stomach to ease as River showered her in kisses.

River didn’t linger for long, moving over her ribs to the curve of her stomach, “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I left. Once the panic passed I think I spent the rest of the day hard whenever I remembered what you taste like on my tongue.”

“By all means,” V lifted her hips from the bed, “help yourself.”

“You don’t have any jobs later?”

“Nothing I can’t move.”

“Good,” River tossed her shorts over his shoulder and settled on his stomach between her legs, “we’re going to be a while.”

***

“ _River_ ,” V wished he had hair, her fingers trying to find purchase on the back of River’s hair to keep him in place.

River chuckled, his tongue continuing its expert circles around her clit, his grip on her hips keeping her still as he slowly pleasured her.

“Come on, River, baby, please.”

“What’s the rush?”

“Don’t fucking _stop_ ,” V pushed his head back where it was, “stop talking, more licking.”

“Hang on,” River pulled away, pulling off his boxers and dropping onto his back on the bed, “alright, come here.”

V went to straddle him, stopped as River grabbed her and pulled her up, “what are you doing?”

“I wasn’t done, I just couldn’t handle laying on my dick anymore,” River shifted down the bed until her pussy was level with his face, “there were go.”

“I’m going to crush you.”

“I’m a big guy, I can take it,” River pulled her down, his tongue pushing inside of her to better taste her.

“ _God_.”

V let him explore, slowly bringing the heat back to her core as he sucked softly against her clit, V whimpering as the heat turned into urgency, her need pushing her to roll her hips against his lips.

Judging by the deep moan, River approved.

V did it again, an experimental roll, watching River’s face for any signs of annoyance.

Instead, all she could see was heat. River winked, pushing his tongue out for her to rock against.

“You want me to ride your face, baby?”

River nodded, one of his hands disappearing behind her to stroke himself as she rocked.

Once she started, it was easy. Each slow roll of her hips bringing her closer to the edge as River moaned, a mix between watching her, tasting her, and his touch pulling the pleased rumbles from deep in his chest.

For a moment, V wondered if he came when she did. Her back arching as she pushed herself down hard against his tongue, and his name falling from her lips as she saw fireworks behind her eyelids.

“Damn, River,” V tried to catch her breath.

River smiled, “keep going if you want.”

“If you’re up to it, I’d rather move on to something more.”

“Happy to provide,” River pat the bed beside him, “lay down.”

V stretched out beside him, pleased to see that he was still hard against his stomach, “thought you got off when I did.”

“No,” River rolled her to face the wall, slotting up behind her, “just liked listening to you.”

River kissed along her shoulder, reaching between them to position his cock against her before he grabbed his hip and pressed forward.

Their combined moans had the neighbour pounding against the wall.

“If we’re going to keep this up,” V giggled, “we need to move.”

River laughed, stroking her side as he gave her a minute to adjust, “get a place of our own, no kids, no neighbours.”

“Mmm,” V hummed, “I hope so.”

V relaxed back against him, turning her face to kiss his cheek.

“Feelin’ good?”

“Feelin’ preem.”

“Good,” River rolled his hips, pulling a delighted moan from V, “me too.”

***

“ _River,_ ” V gripped his wrist, “close.”

“I know,” River bit down on her earlobe, “I can feel you tightening around my cock. You like me taking you like this?”

“ _Yes_ ,” V’s grip tightened, and she held her breath as it started to build.

“Come on,” River showered her face with kisses, “I want to feel you.”

V wasn’t one to do what she was told, but there were exceptions to every rule.

River came at the same time she did, her grip around his cock bringing him over the edge.

“God, V,” River fucked her through it, drawing it out for as long as he could, “I fuckin’ love you.”

V whined, gasping as she tried to catch her breath, “you’re _really_ good at that.”

River laughed, “I’m glad you approve.”

***

“You’re exhausted,” River pulled the blanket over them, “why don’t you go to sleep?”

“What if you’re not here when I wake up?”

“I will be, I promise,” River brushed her hair from her face, “no more running. No matter how scared I am.”

“You don’t need to be scared of me, River.”

“I can’t think of anything scarier than love.”

“Well shit, hun, I can think of like _three_ things right off the top of my head.”

“Name them.”

“Arasaka, NCPD, and Johnny Silverhand if I ever fuck you without taking my meds, first.”

“You got that right,” Johnny spoke from the couch as he reappeared, “next time, take a double dose. I was picking up more sensations there than I wanted.”

“Sorry, I will.”

“Go to sleep, V. I’ll keep an eye on him and wake you up if he leaves.”

V wasn’t sure if she could trust River, not yet, but Johnny Silverhand?

Yeah, she could trust him.

***

V didn’t open her eyes right away when she woke up, _very_ aware that River was no longer holding her.

“He got hot,” Johnny commented in her mind, “he’s beside you.”

V opened her eyes and found Johnny was right, River asleep on his back beside her, blankets kicked off, beautifully nude and relaxed.

“Feel better?”

“Seems so selfish,” V rolled over so she could look a Johnny on the couch, “shouldn’t I just let him go? I’m going to be dead in a week or two.”

“If I could get Alt back right this second, knowing that I’m going to die right along with you, I would. I would spend every second I had left with her. Love is selfish by nature, V. “

“I’m not one for reminiscing but I’d trade it all for your sweet embrace…”

“That’s exactly right. He may be a cop, but he seems to love you, kid. Let yourself enjoy this. We’re not dead yet.”

“What would I do without you, Johnny?”

“Be bored,” Johnny shrugged, “and boring.”

“You’re absolutely right.”

“Tell him yet?”

“No. Wanted to make sure he was here when I woke up.”

“He watched you sleep for an hour, kissed your forehead, and then curled up to sleep with you.”

“How do you know that if I was asleep?”

“How the fuck should I know? Biochip works in mysterious ways.”

V stood, slipping from the bed to order a bottle of water from the machine.

“V, I love you, but I’m seeing way more of you than I want to.”

“Close your eyes, Silverhand.”

“Nice tits though.”

“Thank you,” V grabbed River’s shirt, pulling it over her head.

She had four messages, all from Joss.

_River might be on his way to you, we had a heart to heart – Joss_

_He’s been out for a while, have you heard from him? – Joss_

_He said he’s at your place, let me know how it goes – Joss_

_Four hours of silence, either you killed him or you’re making up, either way, message me when you’re done – Joss_

V chuckled, sitting back on the edge of the bed as she typed out the response.

_He’s currently snoring beside me, safe and sound. Did Randy leave for work on time? – V_

_He was ready at 8 this morning, left at 9:30 to make sure he was on time. He’s going to be exhausted when he gets home – Joss_

_It’ll be good for him. Do you work today, or can I keep River? – V_

_All yours for today, I work tomorrow, though – Joss_

_No problem, I’ll make sure he’s back – V_

_Glad you worked it out, V. – Joss_

_Me too – V_

_V Ward has a night ring to it – Joss_

“Who’re you messaging?”

V glanced up as River reached for her, “your sister. She wanted to make sure I hadn’t killed you.”

River smiled, “not yet.”

“Still time,” V leaned forward, kissing his forehead, “how’d you sleep?”

“Always better when you’re next to me.”

“River?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you, too, for the record.”

River’s smile was brilliant, “you do?”

“I do.”

“Come here,” River pulled her into his arms, “I love you, so much.”

“Love you too,” V kissed his chest.

“Up for round two?”

“Always.”

River flipped her, pinning her to the bed.

“V, the meds.”

V watched River kiss down her stomach.

“The _meds_ , V.”

River managed one kiss on her mound just above her clit before V started to cough, pulling away with a laugh as her vision blurred.

“Shit, you okay?”

“Johnny,” V waved at the couch, “I need my meds.”

“Do you…usually…laugh when you’re coughing up blood?”

“I’m used to it,” V waved off the concern, “dying, remember?”

“Shit, V,” River looked down at her with concern, “anything I can do?”

“Mmhmm, some blue pills in the bathroom, bring me two.”

River did, rushing to the bathroom in a near jog.

“Do you need an orange one?”

“Only if you want to hang out with Johnny instead of me,” V called back, “they let him take over.”

“No thanks,” River dropped the pills into her hand, “you sure you’re okay?”

“Okay as I can be,” V swallowed the pills with a swig of water, “give me five minutes to make sure Johnny’s gone, and we can continue.”

“You’re sure?”

“River, as your girlfriend I get to claim that cock as mine,” V pat his thigh, “and you’re going to fuck me over the edge of this bed before the day ends, got it?”

“Yes ma’am.”

***

“Hey, kiddo,” V greeted Randy with a smile, “how was the first day.”

“Awesome,” Randy gushed, “you didn’t need to take me out to dinner, you’ve already celebrated with me.”

“Wasn’t my idea, actually, I just picked the venue.”

“Who’s idea was it?”

“Mine,” River walked joined them, “why do you own cars in this city, V? Can’t find a single parking space.”

“See, there’s your first issue,” V took River’s hand, “I don’t look for a parking space, I just leave my car on the curb.”

“No one fucks with it?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“Cause I’m V,” V shrugged, “come on, let’s eat.”

“Wait,” Randy looked between them, “I’m missing something.”

“Oh, sorry,” V stood between them, “Randy, this is River, my boyfriend.”

“Ah,” Randy smiled, “you two made up?”

“V was nice enough to give me another chance.”

“Don’t fuck it up this time,” Randy followed V into the noodle shop.

“Don’t worry, I won’t.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the next one might be the last- hopefully I'll have it written tomorrow. 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments, I really appreciate them.

“Hey, you.”

V smiled, “Hey yourself.”

“It’s been two days since I saw you last, and I’m going crazy.”

“Want to come over tonight?”

“I’d love to,” River sighed, “Joss is working, and Randy went out with Natalie. I’ve got to watch the kids.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Don’t know how I’ll wait that long, but Joss is off, so sure.”

“You’ll manage.”

“V,” River’s voice was a warm balm that her nerves desperately needed, “I miss you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” River confirmed, “I’ll call you when the kids go to bed.”

“Sure.”

“Promise.”

“Okay,” V laughed, “talk to you then.”

“We’re going out there, aren’t we?”

“Not much else to do until we hear from Takemura and Hanako,” V pulled up her messages, “Any objections?”

“None from me.”

“You know,” V started to send a message to Joss, “I think you would have been a great dad.”

“Not a chance.”

“Maybe we can pick up some toy guns on the way, green ones for Dorian.”

“Dorian’s favorite colour is red.”

V shot Johnny a pointed look.

“Shut up.”

_Hey, mind if I steal River and the kids for the afternoon? I promised them a trip into the city and a movie – V_

_Go ahead, does River know? – Joss_

_Nope, a surprise for all of them – V_

_Just keep me updated, okay? – Joss_

_Of course, don’t worry, I’ll keep them safe -V_

_I know, you’ve already raised some of your own, right? – Joss_

V winced.

_Right – V_

“You should call your sisters.”

“You’re right about a lot of things, but that’s something I need to leave alone.”

“Why?”

“Would you have wanted to know your mom was dying?”

“I would have wanted to say goodbye,” Johnny leaned against the wall near her, “give them the option at least. Don’t tell them you’re dying, but at least tell them that you love them.”

“I’ll think about it.”

***

“V!”

V pulled Monique and Dorian into a hug when she got out of her car, lifting them both as River walked from the trailer.

“What are you doing here?”

“I missed the kids _so much_ I just had to come and say hi,” V kissed Monique’s forehead, “then I remembered my boyfriend lives here, so I had more incentive.”

“Are you here to play with us?”

“Actually, if Uncle River is up to it, I’m here to take you guys out on the town for the day. I think I promised you guys a movie and dinner, right?”

“Can we go River?”

“Please?”

“I’ll need to ask Joss…”

“Already did,” V set the kids down, “go get dressed, okay? Shoes that are good for walking in.”

Monique and Dorian rushed back into the house, and River pulled V into his arms, “I’ve missed you like crazy.”

“I missed you, too,” V kissed him, feeling the way he smiled against her lips, “ready for a day in the city?”

“Two kids in the city? Sounds tiring.”

“I’ve got plenty of experience,” V smacked River’s bum, “go get dressed.”

***

“Look at all the cars,” Monique’s face was pressed against the glass as V drove into the city center, “I can’t wait to work here when I’m older.”

“What do you want to do when you grow up, Monique?”

“I don’t know yet,” Monique rolled her eyes, “I’m too young.”

“I want to be a Ripper doc, like what put Uncle River’s eye in.”

“Ripper is a good job,” V agreed, “good people.”

“I’ve never met one.”

“Do you want to?”

“Do you know one?”

“I know lots,” V turned the car toward Vik’s clinic, “we’ve got some time before the movie starts, plenty of time to grab a pizza and head out there.”

“Can I get an eye like River’s?”

“I think your mom might get mad if I do that,” V looked at Dorian in the backseat, smirking as she found Johnny sitting between the kids.

***

“You guys just hang here for a minute, okay? Just going to make sure that Vik doesn’t have anyone in the chair.”

“Can’t believe I get to meet a Ripper,” Dorian bounced in place as River watched with an amused smile, “they save people's _lives_.”

“They sure do,” River agreed, “I think this is the one that saved V a few times.”

“Come on,” V called from the steps, smiling as Dorian bolted toward her, “now, don’t touch anything, okay? This is Vik’s stuff.”

“I won’t.”

“Great,” V opened the gate, smiling as Vik looked up with surprise, “Vik? I’d like you to meet someone.”

“Who do we have here?”

“My boyfriend, River,” V waved to River as he walked in with Monique, “and his niece Monique, and _this_ is Dorian, his nephew who plans on being a Ripper when he grows up.”

“You don’t say,” Vik kicked his stool over toward his patient chair, “the next big Ripper in NC?”

“Yep,” Dorian almost shook with the urge to explore the clinic, “what does that chair do?”

“Come on up, I’ll show you.”

***

“What does that do?”

“It helps people like V with computers,” Vik patiently explained his inventory to Dorian and Monique while V and River watched.

“And that one?”

“Those are like swords, they go in your arms. V has some she might show you.”

“What about this?”

“Dorian, I’m sure Vik has other things to do, kiddo.”

“It’s fine,” Vik reassured River, “nice to see kids this polite. Now, Dorian, when was the last time you had a check-up?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Probably been years,” River answered honestly, “after the free coverage stopped.”

“Well, sounds like a perfect time,” Vik helped Dorian into the patient chair, “let’s take a look.”

***

“Perfect health,” Vik announced, handing Monique a candy, “both of you. Good news.”

“Can I work for you when I’m older? V got our brother a job.”

“Sure kid, you swing by when you’re older and I’ll teach you all I know. How have you been feeling, V?”

“It’s been hit or miss,” V answered honestly, “coughing more, more issues with my vision. Hopefully one of my plans starts to move soon or…”

“Want me to check it out while you’re here?”

“Yeah, V, you need a check-up too!”

“Alright,” V hopped into the chair, passing the jack to Dorian, “jack me in, Dr. Dorian.”

“Is that okay, Vik?”

“Sure thing, kid, just be gentle.”

V leaned back in the chair, wrapping her arms around Monique as she climbed on the chair with her.

“Doesn’t look great, V.”

“I know.”

“It’s moving quick.”

“Know that, too.”

“You taking the meds?”

“Yep.”

“Shit,” Vik breathed, “we’re talking a week, max, V.”

“Vik,” V turned her head to face him, “let’s keep it easy around the kids, okay?”

“Sure, sure,” Vik pat her hand, “sorry.”

“You’re going to fix V, right?”

“I’m trying,” Vik reassured Dorian, “there are big hurts and little hurts, and V has a big hurt.”

“She doesn’t seem hurt.”

“I’m fine,” V promised Dorian, “one of my chips is a little out of whack, is all. I’ll be okay.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah,” River chimed in, “promise?”

“I’m doing my best.”

***

“Stay safe, kid,” Vik kissed V’s forehead.

“I’m trying.”

Vik shook River’s hand, leaning in to whisper, “Dorian needs glasses. Swing him by, I’ll set him up.”

“Thanks, Vik. It was nice to meet you.”

“Take care of my girl for me, okay? NC needs V.”

“I will.”

“So, what are we saying for dinner,” V clapped her hands, “pizza?”

“Yeah!”

“Alright, let’s go.”

***

“A drive-in?” River looked up as they drove the winding road toward the theater, “I didn’t even know this was here.”

“Johnny told me,” V parked outside the theater, “just need to unlock it, give me a second.”

“A week,” Johnny followed her in the office, “shit, V.”

“Let’s deal with that tomorrow, okay?” V sighed, “let’s pretend for tonight that everything’s fine, and enjoy the night with the kids.”

“I’m sorry, V.”

“It’s not your fault,” V punched in the code, “even if this is my last week, I’m glad I had this time with you.”

“What are we watching?”

“Whatever is rated for kids on the shelves.”

“Bushido is fine.”

“Johnny, no.”

***

V backed the car toward the screen, popping the trunk of her Ragnar open.

“Come on, kiddos, into the back.”

Monique and Dorian cheered when they found the blankets and pillows in the back, rushing to claim their spot in the back of the truck.

“Get in there, River, I need to take a picture for Joss.”

River climbed in the back, sitting between the kids.

“Everyone say cheese,” V pulled out her phone and took a picture, sending it to Joss in a quick message.

“When does the movie start?”

V got in beside River, “everyone grab a slice, and I’ll get it running.”

***

“Hey,” River whispered, “look.”

V looked down and found that Monique had fallen asleep against her arm, “aw.”

“Dorian isn’t far behind,” River pointed to Dorian who was leaning against a pillow and struggling to keep his eyes open.

V moved Monique, pulling her further into her lap so she was more comfortable as she slept against V’s chest.

“This was probably the best day of their lives,” River kept his voice low, “thank you.”

“It was fun,” V pulled the blanket around Monique’s back, “it’s nice to be around kids again. It’s been a long time.”

“So, a week?”

“Looks like it.”

“Are you scared?”

“Yeah, a bit. Mostly about losing you, _this_.”

“I don’t want to lose you, either.”

“I have a week,” V reassured, “a lot can change in a week.”

“Let me know how I can help.”

“I will.”

***

“You take Dorian, I’ll get Monique,” V shut the door to the car as quietly as she could, carefully pulling Monique over her shoulder trying not to wake her.

“Joss should be home in an hour, looks like Randy’s back with Natalie.”

V followed River into the house, and into the kids' bedroom, pulling the sheets back on Monique’s bed before setting her down gently.

V had always hated trying to take the shoes off of a sleeping kid, but years of practice had it down to an art. V pulled the covers up over Monique before walking to the other bed to help River.

“Trick is you need to undo the laces _really_ wide,” V whispered, undoing Dorian’s shoe and gently easing it from his foot.

“Aunty V?”

V froze, turning back to Monique’s bed, “what’s up, kiddo?”

“Where are we?”

“Home,” V kneeled beside Monique’s bed, “you’re all tucked in.”

“Will you be here in the morning?”

V glanced at River who nodded, “yep.”

“Okay,” Monique gave V a one-armed hug, “see you in the morning.”

“See you in the morning.”

River followed V into the kitchen and out onto the front patio, “you okay?”

“I should, uh,” V cleared her throat, “keep my distance from the kids. Give them time to forget me before I go.”

“Don’t think you can do that, _Aunty V_.” River pulled her into his arms, “come on, V. You said it yourself that we should spend the time we can together. The kids love you, and they want you around.”

“And when you have to tell them I died?”

“Hopefully it doesn’t come to that, but if it does, I’ll take care of them.”

“I need a smoke.”

“Light one, I’ll grab us some beers.”

***

V got into bed as River undressed, “you’re gorgeous.”

“Glad you think so,” River crawled up the bed, following after her, “I love you, V.”

“Love you, too.”

“I’ve gotta ask,” River pulled her into his arms, “what does V stand for?”

“Valerie.”

“Valerie,” River kissed her, “it’s a beautiful name.”

“Only my sisters call me that, and Vik, when he’s trying to get me to take him seriously.”

“Can I call you that?”

“Practically a marriage proposal, V.”

“Yeah, you can call me that.”

“Well, _Valerie,_ ” River kissed her, “I hope you brought your meds.”

“Fuck, you two are like bunnies,” Johnny paced the room, “get it over with, already.”

“I did,” V slipped from the bed, grabbing the meds from her jacket, “night, Johnny.”

“Have fun, _Valerie._ ”

“Oh, I will, _Robert.”_

 _“_ Touché.”

***

“Aunty V!”

“Morning, guys,” V smiled at Joss as she walked into the kitchen, “Need any help, Joss?”

“Can you make the coffee?”

“Coffee is my job,” River kissed her cheek, “go sit with the kids.”

V paused as her phone rang, glancing down at the caller ID, “I’ll, uh, be right back. I need to take this.”

“What’s going on?” Joss asked River as V walked from the trailer.

“No idea.”

River had waited ten minutes before he went looking for V, finding her smoking on the back porch, tears down her cheeks and a cigarette in her hand.

“No,” V took a deep breath, “Vanessa, listen to me. It doesn’t matter that your sister works for Arasaka. The relic wasn’t _designed_ to be put into a living body. If they find out that it’s her _sister_ with Johnny Silverhand’s engram, they could wipe her off the face of the earth. I didn’t go through all the shit I did getting you guys _out_ of NC just for you to die because of me now. Just pretend you don’t know.”

River set the coffee in front of her, sitting beside her.

“I know it’s not fair,” V sighed, “come on, Ness, don’t cry. You’ve got a whole life there, you’ll be fine, I promise. Yeah, I can call Viv. I don’t know what I’ll tell her, I’ll just tell her I’m sick, she’ll assume it’s lace. No, I don’t want her to think I’m an addict, but I don’t want her boss to kill her, either. It’s the lesser of the two evils.”

V listened for a minute before responding, “Ness, listen, okay? I love you, I’m proud of who you’ve become. I just wanted you to know _in case_ I can’t figure this out, that I loved being your acting-mom. Yeah, even with all the shady shit I had to do. You and Viv are the two things I’m most proud of in my life. Now, take a deep breath, okay? I’m going to give your number to my boyfriend, River. If something happens, I’ll have him call you.”

V took a sip of coffee, smiling at River gratefully as he wiped the tears from her face, “what’s he like? 6’2, built like a brick house, amazing in bed. He was a cop. Stop fuckin’ laughing, Ness. Most of the cops in NC like me. Come on, I haven’t touched drugs in three years. Well, yeah, he arrested me _once_ , but he didn’t even remember.”

River chuckled, whispering, “wish I had taken you up on that offer, now.”

“Listen, you little shit,” V laughed at something her sister said, “don’t sass your mom, okay? River will call you next week, if everything works out, I’ll call you as soon as I know. I promise. I love you, too. Bye.”

“Your sister’s name is Vanessa?”

“Valerie, Vanessa, Vivian, and Valentino,” V recited, “you want to know the funny thing?”

“Sure.”

“My mom's name was Mary. No one has any idea where her obsession with the letter V came from.”

River chuckled, “well, Val. Breakfast is ready.”

“Give me a few minutes and I’ll be right in. Sorry, this was the first time I’ve spoken with the kids since this whole thing happened. It’s not easy news to bring to anyone.”

“I bet,” River wrapped his arm around V’s shoulder, “amazing in bed, huh?”

“Mmhmm,” V smiled, “coming back to my place tonight so I can confirm my observation?”

“You bet.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And just like that - she's finished.

V opened the door to find River standing on the other side with flowers in hand.

“Well aren’t those beautiful,” V took the bouquet, “what did I do to deserve these?”

“Just because,” River leaned against the door frame, “can I come in?”

“Sure,” V moved out of the way, looking for a cup to use as a vase, “how was your day?”

“Good, met with a potential client after you left, fixed the generator, again. How about you?”

“I met with Hanako Arasaka.”

“Oh, shit, how did that go?”

“Johnny and I discussed it. We can’t do it,” V found a glass and filled it with water, “which leaves depending on the Fixer in the Afterlife, one of Johnny’s friends, going in on my own, or turning to the Aldecaldos.”

“The Aldecaldos?”

“Mmhmm,” V brought the flowers over to the table, “I’m friends with the new leader. They promised to help me.”

“Can you trust them?”

“Absolutely.”

“What are you going to do?”

“No _fuckin’_ clue.”

“What do you think is the best option?”

“Well, I go with Johnny and Rogue, I risk killing a bunch of people. I go by myself, it’s very likely I’m done for.”

“The Aldecaldos?”

“Something to be said about safety in numbers, and they have some ex-military.”

“What if you and I went?”

“Also an option, but no.”

“Why?”

“I want to keep you safe, first of all. Second, if it all goes wrong, do you want to watch me die?”

“No,” River admitted, “but I don’t want you to die alone, either.”

“That’s the good thing about having Johnny around. I’m never alone.”

“I’ll be there right to the end, kid,” Johnny promised, “no matter what.”

***

“ _Fuck_ ,” it was a low delighted groan as River pressed inside of V, “you feel so good.”

V chuckled, “so do you.”

River kissed her shoulder, the crease of her elbow, the palm of her hand, before pinning her wrists above her head.

“Oh, _hello_ there, Detective Ward.”

“Just River,” he kissed her gently.

“You’ve never been _just_ River.”

“If we get through this week,” River whispered, “can we get a place that’s just ours?”

V kissed him as he started to rock his hips, “ _yes_.”

“Will you let me love you, just like this, every night?”

“We need to sleep at some point,” V pulled her hands from his grip, cupping his face in her hands.

“I love you,” River kissed her again, keeping his movement slow, “there’s never going to be anyone else for me, V. You’re it.”

“We have time,” V promised, even though her brain provided a bright reminder of _6 days._

“Val,” River kissed her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, “promise me you’ll stay.”

V whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck, “I promise I’ll try.”

River groaned, dropping his face against her neck.

He kept it slow as if each minute they spent wrapped up in each other would extend V’s life. It was beautiful and heartbreaking all at once. River whispering declarations of love against her skin as he made love to her.

It wasn’t until he moved to kiss her again that V realized he had been crying, the tears running down his cheeks as he looked at her.

“I’m here,” V brought his hand up to her throat, pressing his fingers against her pulse.

River’s eyes fixated on her pulse dancing under her skin, dipping to suck a bruise into her skin, a landmark that no matter what may come, she had been his once.

It built slowly, but the pleasure was intense as it grew. River whispering all of his secret dreams for them against her lips as he brought her closer to the edge.

“A place,” River kissed her, “just ours, with all of your cars, my truck, a place where I can be loud in bed and you don’t hit me for it.”

V chuckled breathlessly, “where?”

“Wherever you want,” River promised, “as long as you keep me with you.”

“ _River,_ ” V was so close.

“Val,” River mirrored, “my beautiful girl, my heart.”

V clung to him as she came, a crushing hug as he followed after her.

He sobbed as he came down, burying his face against her skin and weeping as she soothed him, rubbing his back gently.

“I feel for the guy,” Johnny appeared on the couch, “also, either you guys just fucked for _hours_ , or the meds aren’t working much anymore.”

“It’s been twenty minutes, max,” V kissed River’s shoulder, “so you’re just going to have to deal with him inside of us for a second.”

“I didn’t say nothin’ about it,” Johnny shifted uncomfortably on the couch, “just warning you in case you were planning something really freaky for round two.”

“River,” V pushed him to lay on his side, rolling with him so he didn’t pull out just yet, “baby, I’m not worth these tears.”

“You’re the only person who has ever loved me for who I am,” River wiped at his face, “if you’re not, who is?”

“I’ll figure it out, I promise I’ll try my best.”

“Can I stay here until you do?”

“Of course.”

“I love you, V.”

“I love you, too.”

***

It had been work that had pulled River away that day. A rare opportunity for a client that River couldn’t ignore.

“Promise me you’ll call if anything happens.”

“River,” V kissed him, “stop worrying. I promise.”

And so, she did, sitting on the roof with Johnny, she pulled out her phone.

“Hey, V.”

“Hey, you busy?”

“V?” River’s voice was immediately urgent, “what’s going on?”

“Seems time moved faster than I thought,” V tried to keep her head straight as she spoke with him, “Aldecaldos are on their way.”

“Just stay there, I’ll be there in a second.”

“River, there’s no time.”

“V-“

“I love you, River,” V whispered, “I loved loving you.”

“Baby, please.”

“I need to go,” V whispered, smiling appreciatively when Johnny moved to sit beside her, “hang in there, okay?”

“Okay, love you, Val.”

“Love you, too.”

V hung up, turning to Johnny with a tearful smile, “it’s time to go, Johnny.”

***

It had been terrifying, but the Aldecaldos had pulled through, just like she had hoped they would.

V rest her face against the window as Panam pulled onto the highway, putting some space between them and Arasaka Tower.

And Johnny, wherever Alt had taken him.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” V sniffed, “just feels like losing a close friend, you know?”

“I bet. You want me to call your badge?”

“No, it’s okay, I’ll do it.”

River answered after one ring, “V?”

“Hey, you,” V was exhausted but forced herself to keep her voice upbeat.

“You’re alive?” River breathed, “are you okay?”

“Not really,” V sighed, “still dyin’, but I bought us more time. Aldecaldos are going to follow up on some leads for me. I might need to leave NC.”

“But tonight?”

“Mind if I crash at yours? Pretty sure Arasaka is going to storm mine.”

“Yeah, of course,” River let out a long sigh of relief, “I’ll wait for you outside.”

“He sounded happy to hear from you.”

“Yeah,” V brushed the tears from her face.

“What’s wrong?”

“Well,” V struggled to keep her voice level, “I don’t think he’ll come with us, wherever we go.”

“If he knows what’s good for him, he will,” Panam pat V’s leg, “and if not, I’ll set you up with Mitch.”

***

“Val,” River rushed to Panam’s car, pulling V into his arms, “thank god you’re okay.”

“I need to keep moving,” Panam called over the engine, “let the others know about Saul.”

“Thanks, Panam,” V let River take her weight over his shoulders.

“I’ll call you.”

V nodded and Panam pulled away, V’s knees giving out from under her as she tried to take a step.

“Easy, I got you,” River picked her up, “come on.”

“The kids?”

“In bed,” River eased the door open, walking past Joss and Randy who followed worriedly behind him as he walked to his room, “easy does it.”

V winced as he set her down, her head ringing from the residual pain the biochip had left, “shit.”

“Fuck, V, you okay?” Randy kneeled beside the bed, “can I get you somethin’?”

“Kid, if you have a smoke I’ll love you forever.”

“Hang on, I’ll grab mine,” Joss rushed from the room.

“What happened?”

“God, River, I don’t know if I could even explain it. Johnny’s gone, I’m still here, the chip is still in there and I’m still dyin’, but now we’re talking months, not days.”

***

River helped V shower and undress, settling into bed next to her, “I thought I lost you.”

“You almost did,” V closed her eyes, “I had a choice, give my body over to Johnny, or come back.”

“You chose to come back?”

“Johnny all but threw me into my body. Told me _I know you love that pig, V. Go spend the rest of your days with him._ ”

“And Johnny?”

“Is with Alt, hopefully safe.”

“Who’s going to get me out of trouble now?” River tried for a joke, “you must be exhausted.”

“River,” V turned to look at him, “don’t give me an answer now, but I need you to think about something.”

“Okay, what is it?”

“If I leave NC, will you come with me?”

“V-“

“Not now,” V covered his mouth with her fingers, “if you say no right now, I don’t think my body could take it, alright? Just think about it for me.”

“I will,” River promised, pulling her into his arms.

“I love you, River.”

“I love you, too, V.”

***

“Aunty V!”

V winced as a small knee found its way into her ribs, “hey, Monique.”

“Monique,” River chastised, “gently.”

“S’okay,” V rolled over, pulling Monique down, “what’s going on, Mo?”

“Mom said you got better last night, and you spent the night. She wanted me to tell River that the coffee is ready.”

“Coffee sounds great, can you give me and River a few minutes to wake up?”

“Okay!” Monique kissed her cheek, bouncing out of the room.

“Sorry,” River kissed her forehead, “how are you feeling?”

“Like I was hit by a bus,” V turned over, hiding in River’s arms.

“Hey, Val?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad I get to wake up next to you today.”

“Me too.”

***

It had taken weeks for the Aldecaldos to track down their leads, but they had.

While they waited, V had packed her apartment, and at Joss’s insistence, moved into the trailer.

“I have to admit,” Joss nodded toward the various cars, “had no idea you had this many.”

“This is nothing,” V laughed, “I sold like _four_ before I moved in.”

“You’re feeling better?”

“A bit,” V tried for a smile, “Still don’t think River’s coming with me. It’s weird, you know, to exist in a relationship that feels like it's got an end date.”

“He hasn’t said anything to you?”

“He avoids it if I bring it up.”

“Want me to talk to him about it?”

“No,” V shook her head, “at some point he needs to make his own decisions without me chasing him. If he wants to come with me, we could be happy together. If he doesn’t, well…I’m not coming back for him again.”

“I don’t get it. He’s _crazy_ about you, V. He looks at you like you’re his entire world.”

“Still,” V sighed, “Arizona. Big change.”

“When are you leaving?”

“End of the week. Takes a while, you know, to pack up a camp as big as the Aldecaldos.”

***

River had taken her to the water tower the night before she was due to leave, and V knew it was the end of things.

“I can’t leave them, V.”

V fought to keep her temper in check.

“River,” V lit a smoke, considering her words, “I love you, and I love these kids, so I want you to listen to me carefully, okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Randy, Monique, Dorian, they’re _Joss’s_ kids. I understand what you want to do, trust me, I do, but in the end, it’s Joss’s family. No, don’t interrupt me,” V leveled him with a glare as he opened his mouth, “we agreed to talk about our feelings, I’m talking. This is when you listen.”

“Sorry.”

“I love them all,” V pointed to the house, “like they were mine. I think I’ve done plenty to prove that.”

“You have.”

“Here’s the tough love, ready?”

“Sure.”

V looked over the lights of the city, taking a second to remember raising her siblings there, “sometimes you come across someone just long enough to put them back on the right path, and then you move on. You let them flourish, _alone_. Randy’s working, he’s supporting the family. Joss is happy, and it seems like things are going well with that new boyfriend of hers, the one that even _you_ like.”

“Yeah, Mike’s fine.”

“So maybe, just maybe, it’s time for you to move on. Start your own family. I’d like to do that with you, River. I really would. Now, if you want to stay here, watch Joss raise her kids, you absolutely can. I won’t judge you for it. That being said, if I have a future, for now, it’s in Arizona.”

“What if you get better, would you come back?”

“To NC? Sure. It’s my home, but…”

“But?”

“Not to you.”

River winced, “you said you loved me.”

“And I do, with everything I am. Here’s the thing, River. I love me, too. I deserve a partner that puts me first. Don’t get me wrong, babe. If they were your kids, I would understand completely.”

“If they were my kids, I could take them with us.”

“Yep, you could, but they’re _Joss’s_ kids.”

“So, if I won’t go, that’s it for us? After everything we’ve been through?”

“Well, it depends. If it’s an _I can’t come now, but I’ll leave in a week_ , then I’ll be happy to wait for you. If it’s an _I can’t come now, and I don’t know if I ever will_ , then, yeah. This is it for us.”

“I thought you were it for me, V.”

“I can still be it for you, River. I want to be. Keep in mind I’m not leaving because I want to, I’m leaving because I’ll die if I don’t.”

“Yeah,” River sighed, “I don’t know what to do.”

“That’s a choice only you can make, sweetheart. If I make it for you, you’ll resent me.”

“Wish Johnny was here,” River muttered.

“What, really?” V laughed, “want some Johnny Silverhand advice?”

“He never steered us wrong before.”

“Well,” V flicked her cigarette over the edge of the tower, “we were linked long enough I might have some idea if you’d like to hear it.”

“Shoot.”

“Pig,” V did her best Johnny expression, trying to ignore how much it ached as she remembered him, “I gave up the chance to have tits like that so you could be together. You better not leave her hanging now.”

River chuckled weakly, “sounds right.”

“Gotta follow your heart, River,” V squeezed his hand affectionately.

“Don’t know how I can,” River sighed, “I gave it to you.”

***

“V,” River looked lost as the Aldecaldos pulled into the camp.

“I know, you’re not coming,” V fought the tears, “I get it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, I understand,” V pulled him into a hug, taking the chance to breathe him in, “I just thought maybe, just maybe, you’d pick me.”

“I wish I could.”

“I need to go,” V pulled away, wiping the tears from her face, “I love you, River. Thank you for everything.”

“I love you, V. I’ll miss you.”

“I know, but just remember, you didn’t have to.”

V turned on her heel, getting into Panam’s car.

She was incredibly proud of herself for not looking back as they pulled away.

***

_Goodluck in Arizona – Randy_

_I didn’t go -River_

_Oh you fuckin’ idiot, don’t go anywhere – Randy_

***

Randy pulled into the trailer like his tires were on fire, grabbing River by the coat and hauling him into his bedroom.

“Randy, shit, calm your jets.”

“You know, River, you’re such a fuckin’ idiot it’s amazing that V ever even looked at you,” Randy started pulling out drawers, shoving the clothes that he found into a bag he grabbed from the floor.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“What the fuck are YOU doing?” Randy moved onto the next drawer, “love of your fuckin’ life is _dying_ , and you’re staying here for _what?”_

“For you, and the kids.”

“River, I love you, you know I do, but _we_ don’t need you. V does.”

“The kids-“

“ _I_ will take care of the kids, I promise.”

“We wouldn’t be able to come back,” River pointed out, “it’s a twelve-hour drive, Randy. No more rescues.”

“I get why you’re worried, but River,” Randy paused his packing just for a minute, “I don’t need you to rescue me anymore, or the kids. Mom and I? We’ve got this.”

“Your mom?”

“Called me and screamed the _entire time_ I drove home about how she was planning to shoot you when she got home. _Go_ , River, or you’ll spend your entire life wishing you did.”

“I’m proud of you, Randy.”

“Thank you, now do something brave so I can be proud of you, too.”

“Alright, let me grab another bag.”

***

V glanced down at her phone as it rang again, ignoring the call and sending it to voicemail.

“V, answer the fucking phone. He’s called twelve times.”

“Why?”

“It could be important,” Panam glared at her, “and your phone is _annoying_. Pick. It. Up.”

V sighed, but as her ringtone filled the cabin of Panam’s car she picked up, “River?”

“Would you guys slow down?” River sounded frustrated, “Thorton’s can’t go that fast, I can’t catch up.”

“Catch up?” V stuck her head out the window, “where are you?”

“Somewhere in the huge cloud of dust you’re kicking up. You guys stopping for fuel soon?”

“He’s behind us,” V breathed to Panam, “he’s coming.”

“Want me to pull over? You can ride with him.”

“Yeah,” V sat back in her seat, “Panam’s going to pull over.”

“Good, I’ll catch up with you.”

***

River’s truck was about half an hour behind the last Aldecaldos truck, skidding in to park beside V and Panam as they waited by her car.

“River?”

“Shit, for how many trucks you’ve got going, you can move,” River jumped out of his truck.

“What are you doing here?”

“You told me if I came with you that we could build a family, _together_ , did you mean that?”

“Yeah, of course I did.”

“Do you still mean that?”

“Obviously,” Panam rolled her eyes, “she had me pull over, didn’t she?”

V walked over to him, looking at him cautiously, “you mean it?”

“I mean it.”

“No more running. If you come with me that’s it. If I survive, we’re getting married, having kids, all of it.”

“No more running,” River closed the distance between them, pulling her into a hug, “ _our_ family, _our_ future. Together.”

“Okay,” V hugged him back, “let’s do this.”

“You’ll follow me?” Panam got in her car, “or do you two love-birds want to do a romantic trip to Arizona and I’ll send you the coordinates when we land?”

“Hm, never been on a trip with a girlfriend before,” River wrapped his arm around V’s shoulders, “you, me, the open road, what do you think, V? Sound good?”

“Sounds great.”


End file.
